I'm proud to be a virgin too! I'm a girl, 27 yo, nearly 28. Don't you think there ought to be a 'virgin pride' since we're such an oddity, and game to disparaging remarks and attitudes? Before anyone starts with the 'you're not oppressed' thing, you only need to watch '40 year old virgin' and you'll see that the assumption virginity = bad is pretty mainstream. It's not at the level of 'death to all virgins' or a brick through the window, but it's still enough to make you feel afraid to admit the truth about yourself and to make you feel ashamed of something that isn't intrinsically shameful.
I don't know about you but it upsets me that I'm shamed or regarded as 'weird' for preserving myself. If thinking of people who label themselves gay or transgender as 'weird' is treated like some kind of thought crime, where ought that leave virgins? The only reason adult virgins are not considered a 'minority demographic' as such is that we don't fight for the right to be recognised. Oh, and the whole thing about the promotion of virginity in the 'bad old days of patriarchy', and nothing that was protected then can be protected now because THE PEOPLE ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF HISTORY SAY SO. The summer of 68 that was basically the origin of a HUGE proportion of sexual values today was about everything that WASN'T virginity; perhaps it was even anti-virginity. The SJWs would thus be undermining their values and roots to defend virgins.
Still, that doesn't prevent us being us, and it doesn't invalidate the fact that prejudice hurts us. While I was a student, I was much more 'loud and proud' than I am now, and got harrassed by guys making repeated, disgusting propositions for sex. Figure why I'm a 'shy' virgin now. It feels rotten having to 'hide' for fear of being disparaged at work or by my entourage. Even if I no longer fear sexual harrassment, I've still had to be wary of 'she's weird', 'there must be something wrong with her', 'I bet she's into hardcore porn' 'she just HAS to be a closet lesbian' or 'Oh she's just a child that hasn't grown up; she'll learn one day'. And not being included in social stuff as a result. Which of course is where you pick up plum projects if you're in a female-dominated workplace.
We should be able to be loud and proud just like anyone else, and prejudice and harrassment should be looked upon as unacceptable just like it is for everyone else. I dearly want to marry a man who is a virgin.
I agree. I am a 42 year old asexual and I am not the slightest bit ashamed of it, no matter how many people try to tell me I should be. I am not going to listen to any "shoulds" from anyone unless it's the law, and last time I checked, it ain't illegal to be celibate.
Oh wow that’s good that you are waiting, in a lot of cases the ones who tease others about it are mean for starters and probably wish they would have waited themselves or were able to exercise self control etc, I have had many comments like that over the years, not that people particularly know if you are or aren’t, they just assume and make comments to randoms, yeah they just make assumptions and think things like you listed above, in my experiences the ones who go around talking and promoting some sort of sex fueled lifestyle as a priority or think that random sex and sleeping around is some sort of necessity cause they are “young” are generally losers and have nothing else then that lifestyle and have many other bad habits too, they barely have any money or savings and just scrape through from pay cheque to pay cheque and probably don’t have much of a future, you know what I mean? Let me know if you want some examples please, yeah that movie bags the hell out of them and adds to the negative connotation of the topic, I have seen it, it’s pretty funny some of the jokes though and it’s just a movie so yeah. I’m glad you rejected those pigs who approached you for sex, I can tell you know you are more grown up than the ones who sleep around reguarly are and probably will ever be. Good luck finding someone for you. :-)
Great post! I think celibacy, virginity and even asexuality are more accepted among Catholics, though ironically more so by traditionalists. I think you were right on point in attributing that general lack of acceptance or understanding to the sexual revolution of the sixties. Its conquests are all well and good, but, right now, a deeper appreciation for non-sexual identity is in deep want as well, not only for the good of traditionalists, but for that of everyone.
IIN to be Proud to be a Virgin?
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I'm proud to be a virgin too! I'm a girl, 27 yo, nearly 28. Don't you think there ought to be a 'virgin pride' since we're such an oddity, and game to disparaging remarks and attitudes? Before anyone starts with the 'you're not oppressed' thing, you only need to watch '40 year old virgin' and you'll see that the assumption virginity = bad is pretty mainstream. It's not at the level of 'death to all virgins' or a brick through the window, but it's still enough to make you feel afraid to admit the truth about yourself and to make you feel ashamed of something that isn't intrinsically shameful.
I don't know about you but it upsets me that I'm shamed or regarded as 'weird' for preserving myself. If thinking of people who label themselves gay or transgender as 'weird' is treated like some kind of thought crime, where ought that leave virgins? The only reason adult virgins are not considered a 'minority demographic' as such is that we don't fight for the right to be recognised. Oh, and the whole thing about the promotion of virginity in the 'bad old days of patriarchy', and nothing that was protected then can be protected now because THE PEOPLE ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF HISTORY SAY SO. The summer of 68 that was basically the origin of a HUGE proportion of sexual values today was about everything that WASN'T virginity; perhaps it was even anti-virginity. The SJWs would thus be undermining their values and roots to defend virgins.
Still, that doesn't prevent us being us, and it doesn't invalidate the fact that prejudice hurts us. While I was a student, I was much more 'loud and proud' than I am now, and got harrassed by guys making repeated, disgusting propositions for sex. Figure why I'm a 'shy' virgin now. It feels rotten having to 'hide' for fear of being disparaged at work or by my entourage. Even if I no longer fear sexual harrassment, I've still had to be wary of 'she's weird', 'there must be something wrong with her', 'I bet she's into hardcore porn' 'she just HAS to be a closet lesbian' or 'Oh she's just a child that hasn't grown up; she'll learn one day'. And not being included in social stuff as a result. Which of course is where you pick up plum projects if you're in a female-dominated workplace.
We should be able to be loud and proud just like anyone else, and prejudice and harrassment should be looked upon as unacceptable just like it is for everyone else. I dearly want to marry a man who is a virgin.
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I agree. I am a 42 year old asexual and I am not the slightest bit ashamed of it, no matter how many people try to tell me I should be. I am not going to listen to any "shoulds" from anyone unless it's the law, and last time I checked, it ain't illegal to be celibate.
You're repressing yourself and will regret it later.
Oh wow that’s good that you are waiting, in a lot of cases the ones who tease others about it are mean for starters and probably wish they would have waited themselves or were able to exercise self control etc, I have had many comments like that over the years, not that people particularly know if you are or aren’t, they just assume and make comments to randoms, yeah they just make assumptions and think things like you listed above, in my experiences the ones who go around talking and promoting some sort of sex fueled lifestyle as a priority or think that random sex and sleeping around is some sort of necessity cause they are “young” are generally losers and have nothing else then that lifestyle and have many other bad habits too, they barely have any money or savings and just scrape through from pay cheque to pay cheque and probably don’t have much of a future, you know what I mean? Let me know if you want some examples please, yeah that movie bags the hell out of them and adds to the negative connotation of the topic, I have seen it, it’s pretty funny some of the jokes though and it’s just a movie so yeah. I’m glad you rejected those pigs who approached you for sex, I can tell you know you are more grown up than the ones who sleep around reguarly are and probably will ever be. Good luck finding someone for you. :-)
Great post! I think celibacy, virginity and even asexuality are more accepted among Catholics, though ironically more so by traditionalists. I think you were right on point in attributing that general lack of acceptance or understanding to the sexual revolution of the sixties. Its conquests are all well and good, but, right now, a deeper appreciation for non-sexual identity is in deep want as well, not only for the good of traditionalists, but for that of everyone.