OCD. I have a similar issue, I'm on medication for it and that really truly reduces the intrusive thoughts. Also finding an outlet for the feelings like watching slasher horror movies. Although your thoughts are based in violence thay's actually not the problem, the problem is intrusive thoughts. There may however be a root cause aside from that like trauma/childhood abuse. I know it feels scary right now but getting help will greatly reduce this issue.
Its awesome you reached out and there is help out there <3 good luck
IIN To be Obsessed with Gore/Mutilation/Death Against One's Will?
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OCD. I have a similar issue, I'm on medication for it and that really truly reduces the intrusive thoughts. Also finding an outlet for the feelings like watching slasher horror movies. Although your thoughts are based in violence thay's actually not the problem, the problem is intrusive thoughts. There may however be a root cause aside from that like trauma/childhood abuse. I know it feels scary right now but getting help will greatly reduce this issue.
Its awesome you reached out and there is help out there <3 good luck