Is it normal to be jealous when he is naked in the gym?

Hello, I am gay and married to a man. We are very open about sexual desires/fantasies/etc with each other and have a great sex life. Lately I have found myself to be very jealous of certain things. One thing in particular is that we both workout, but when he is at the gym, he walks around naked in the locker room. Now I know that it's a locker room and people are supposed to be getting undressed and in towels but he likes to walk around with no towel and basically show off before and after he showers. He says it is not sexual and is just a liberating feeling but I can't stop myself from getting mad over the idea of him just putting on a show for all these guys. Especially when I am not there with him to monitor. I know I shouldn't feel so upset over this but I can't help my initial feelings.

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 11 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Well he's your husband, so talk to him about it. You can probably convince him that he shouldn't do that because all those men aren't gay, and you're the only one he should put a show on for.

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  • That seems like a legitimate thing to be upset about. I think you should talk to him about how you feel, assuming you already haven't. If he won't stop, then I really don't know what else to say.

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  • Do the other men in the locker room realize he's putting on a show for them? Are they all gay?

    Really, I think you're being overly insecure about it. I mean, deep down, you must not trust him to be faithful to you. And your issues with not trusting him are not his fault. Expecting him to change his behaviour to suit your insecurities is possessive; you don't own him and you cannot expect to control / monitor him.

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  • I would be so steaming mad if my partner did anything like that so I can definitely see your side. There's no reason to do that in a locker room when he can walk around "liberated" at home.

    I would suggest talking to him again and really trying to get him to see how much this upsets you. If he truly cares, he would understand, in my point of view personally.

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  • I would think it was hot if my wife was putting on a show for the women at the gym...but that is apples and oranges...not the same thing. It is normal not sure if jealous is the right word. I think he is flirting with other men when he does that. He should stop if it bothers you. Would make me wonder who else he is showing off for. Maybe he is a flirt and a cheater?

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  • Nudity can be non-sexual. If you go to a nude beach, you'll notice that men and women are in to body acceptance, and enjoying the day; not into getting laid.

    Flirting and partying happens after dark.

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  • trust issues my man. same as a being upset when your woman shows her cleavage or wears short shorts! its tough sometimes,I know.

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  • Hey, all of us are individuals. If he enjoys be naked in the gym locker room, maybe that is the way he grew up. I did in fact grow up that way. My dad took me to the gym with him and he never used a towel like some others did, so nether did I. Of course, I didn't have much to look at when I was 9 or 10, but soon I had hair growing and I was so proud to strut around. When I was older, I used to shave in the "buff" just like my dad. I knew several guys would check me out as I was skinny as a rail and my dick extension was something that I was proud of. No one ever tried to make a date with me, and I was always aware of others, but never got to the point that I wanted something more.
    Now, I still shave in the nude at the gym, but don't get many lookers.
    Don't worry about your boyfriend (husband)many of us go through the cycle. He is still yours to have and hold....

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  • I understand why you would be so upset. I would suggest couples counselling.

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  • Its perfectly normal if your husband is an exhibitionist type. What is his intention behind these actions, because it's liberating? I don't buy that. He obviously does it to see who takes an interest. I guess its like those hookers that sit in the windows in Amsterdam, they show whats on offer and if your interested you strike up a conversation.
    You should just tell him you don't like it and ask him not to do it. Why can't he just get changed without flouting his bits at other men? This is what it comes down to. Another gay guy saying 'look how gay i am'. He got issues around exhibitionism, control, and boundaries.
    I diagnose a narcissistic personality disorder.

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  • Hell yeah it's normal, if my girlfriend did that(she's bi) in the girls lockeroom I would be jealous as hell..since she is bi she might as well do it in front of a bunch of guys as well.

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