Is it normal to be jealous/uncomfortable?

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7 Comments

I've been with my girlfriend nearly a year, and for the most part i couldn't be happier.

the thing is, she talks to an old boyfriend about once a week. as far as i know she doesn't see him or interact with him otherwise.

this bothers me. when i think about it and know it has been going on, it makes me not want to be close to her.

i know people are going to say that i'm being a jerk, but i can't help how i feel. it really, really bugs me.

my girlfriend says they are just friends now, and i do believe her. IT STILL BOTHERS ME. and i'm really sick of thinking about it.

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 7 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago | pl

    EVERYONE ON THIS WEBSITE: BE CAREFUL OF "BUDTHE WISE" - HE IS A FIRST CLASS CREEP, WOMAN ABUSER, RACIST AND IGNORAMUS ... AND PLEASE DO NOT LISTEN TO ANY OF HIS CRAPPY AND ABUSIVE ADVICE. PLEASE!!!

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago | pl

    Try talking with her about it & see if there is anything she can do to help.

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  • crazhee
    13 years ago | pl

    I have a similar situation with yours. As for me, I find that it's basically a trust issue. I'm trying to befriend the ex and so far she's friendly towards me, she acknowledges my position as his girlfriend, she even nags him when she thinks he's being unfair with me. All in all, she's a good person and I can see myself being friends with her. However, yes, I am still jealous.

    On the other hand, my boyfriend (soon to be fiancé and then soon to be my husband) is an amazing person. I can see and feel how he loves me so much, how he wants me so much and how h's always trying his best to make me feel comfortable and happy. Yes, I am very lucky to have him. Even when he's extremely exhausted after handling an event from 9am to 12 midnight, he still took me home (30 minute drive) when he had to wake up early the same day for another 9am to 12 midnight event (his office is a pain in the arse, I helped out on the event for 2 days and it was crazy).

    I know how much he loves me, I know how much he wants me, his ex acknowledges me, she's friendly towards me, he's always open
    and honest towards me, but at the same time I'm still burning with jealousy, then it is my trust issue and I choose to deal with it internally. Not being trusted hurts.

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  • smileatme
    13 years ago | pl

    this is normal everyone has a jealous bone in them just somethings trigger them. i understand where u are coming from and the reason u are so jealous is probably because at one time they had feelings for each other i dont blame u i would be jealous too if my hubby was talking to an ex even if it was just by phone.. i would have to put a stop to that.

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  • tank711
    13 years ago | pl

    Yes it's normal to be jealous. I would be sketched out too. You have to learn to trust your girlfriend so that you can have a funtional relationship. If you don't you'll eventually piss her off by nagging too much and she'll break up with you, or you'll create a self-fufilling prophecy by nagging her and she will cheat on you with him. Try and get comfortable with the idea of them staying friends. Maybe you can make friends with her ex. If nothing works it just means you have trust issues that have nothing to do with your girl so don't annoy her about it just solve the problem internally.

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  • wlman1234
    13 years ago | pl

    you dont want to lose her, thats normal ...
    to speak out about it ,that you love her very much ,if she understands u ,and you can even make friend with this guy if you dont mind,
    but ,,,remember, if the guy still havent a gf,then you should be very care of that ))

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