Is it normal to be jealous of your partner's masturbatory habits?

My boyfriend and I have been together on and off for over four years now. Seven months ago we decided to move in together and thus get to know eachother better, because our long distance relationship wasn't working.
I am a very sexual being. There was this point in our relationship were we had sex 3 times a day. I get that as you get older it goes down hill, however, once a day shouldnt be too much to ask for.
Every morning he takes his laptop into the bathroom and gives it a little tug. Sometimes he even uses cock rings to of course make it even more pleasureable.
Is it abnormal for me to think that masturbation should be a last resort? If I am here and damn sexy I should say, why not get your rocks off on me. I get that sometimes you need something different but that is what fantasy and role play is for. I get jealous that I get none, while he gets his glorious orgasm on.
Partly it makes me feel less sexy, although he says that masturbation isnt sexual its for the tension release. He even said that sometimes when he's looking at some girls online they remind him of me and he ends up thinking of me... but I think he was trying to make me feel better. And I think though once you slide that cock ring on it becomes about pleasure not about tension.
I think that he is selfish for meeting only his sexual needs and desires and not mine, because once he gets off to internet porn, hes good for the day.
I have tensions too, and needs that he doesnt meet because he takes care of his own first.
I do not think it is out of line for me to be jealous. But I am.
Help me out. I dont know what to do or say. I've tried approaching the subject but he says I have no right to tell him how or when to masturbate. He offered to buy me a toy which gets the job done, but I need physical contact.
It truly pisses me off when I wake up and walk by the bathroom and hear his wanking, and know that I will not be getting any.
I even left him a sticky on his laptop one day asking him to try to make love to me before he jacked off.. and he just threw it away and went on his way as I lay in bed in my lingerie waiting and then knowing that its someone elses tits he's pretending to come on.

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 14 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • he might have an addiction. It's a problem, but some guys like masterbating more than sex. If he does that, get your vibrator out and have crazy, wild, hot, LOUD sex with yourself. He'll hear you having this incredible orgasm and he'll feel left out. You could also tape yourself like this and put it on his laptop so next time he masterbates, he'll see you getting off all on your own. If you come out of the bedroom after screaming your head off and you're in a great mood and just like "best orgasm ever" he'll be sure to get jealous and understand how you felt. Show him your vibrator means more to you than his dick and he'll show you the opposite is true :P guys almost always accept a challenge in front of them (especially if it's about sex). Or you just have to turn him on so bad that he has to have you :P Maybe ask him to masterbate in front of you or you can in front of him or you two can watch porn together. If nothing seems to work, you can find out his biggest fantasy (and if it's porn than act like you're in a porn) and act it out for him. If nothing works, you just need to tell him you're dissatisfied and you hate how he won't even consider your feelings. If he STILL does nothing, you'll need to find a different way to satisfy yourself because he's crazy enough to not go after a great girl like you!

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  • Sounds as if you two are incompatible, and I don't think this will improve soon! But you sound more than willing to help him change, (angel like qualities ) and seem very desirable! You may have to make a hard choice here. Good luck with that!

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  • Your right jacking off should be a last resort! It sound like he doesn't care about your needs and has a relationship with his porn watching which in a since is cheating. Porn is very dangerous because it's not real he is watching things that could not happen or come true. He is desensitized to the real thing and has to have it now to get off. If he can't share the stuff he likes to view with you and try to enjoy it with you, then he has a big problem and is not being honest! Honesty in any relationship is the most importan thing! I think you should find a guy who will take your needs seriously first!

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  • He sounds like a selfish loser you ignores you and won't change. I think you should move on and dump him.

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  • I gave up readin half way through, however i wouldnt take it personal its just a habit

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  • Why can't he masturbate without porn u should dump him xo

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  • Lose him

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  • ^ How about stop complaining being a hypocrite telling her not to write long questions while writing essays yourself spanning three comments.

    Anyways for the question, I think morning sex > morning tug. If your BF dont feel that make him starve, he will eventually come to his senses.

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  • One more thing...if you want to turn him on drop the fu*^ing "make love" terminology. I bet if the note said, "Joe (or whatever you call him), get your fu*King clothes off now and bring me your hard c*ck. I need to be pounded NOW!" you would have got laid. "Ooh baby, pwitty pwease come make precious love to me." Uck. My di*k is limp just writing those words.

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    • First off, if it is an essay, then don't read it. Simple as that.
      Secondly, I do have my own orgasms, I just like to get rammed like a jack hammer all day. I'm just too much of a nympho for him. He used to f**k me 3 times a day and now its about once a week.
      Thirdly, I toned down the language for the posting. I don't like the term "make love" because you cant make it.. not really. I am the dirty talker in this relationship.
      Finally, take your own advice.
      @DMMode I wouldn't want to starve myself either. I'm pretty much a nympho. I want it all the time. So to go by his timeline I'd die of sexual starvation, if its not possible I'll be the first case.

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  • Oh, and stop writing such long questions. Christ. Or let me edit your next rant so it can be read in less than a hour.

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  • Women! Seperate the two things. We (men) are going to continue to masterbate regardless of how much you put out. It's not personal. In fact it has nothing to do with you at all. If you need it that bad and he wont give it up, then get a toy, vibator, dildo, finger, hot guy nextdoor, or some other way and have your own orgasm. Like I told my wife: If you stop putting out I will fuck other women and if I stop putting out I expect you to do the same with other guys. Stop feeling jealous and GO GET SOME. And always practice safe sex. This message has been brought to you by the Council for Safe Sex.

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  • For the love of all that is sexy please bestow this information onto me. If I even broach the subject with my boyfriend he just shells up and walks away. I get its a touchy subject, pun intended, but still I need to know why he chooses that over me sometimes.
    Like as we speak, he's making sweet sweet love to himself and I gave him a bj about an hour ago.
    I'm just so confused. >.< I just wasnt built that way, and I've never come across this problem before.

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  • Well, as a guy, let me say that I also have sex everyday and I still masturbate. It's two totally different things. I know it may not seem like it, but it really is. Guys need self pleasure as much as they need woman pleasure.

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