Is it normal to be jealous of my girlfriend reading so much erotica?

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I don't know. I'm not a very sexual guy, personally, I really only want to be with her. I'm not terribly attracted to anyone else, and I don't watch a lot of porn. But I mean, I've woken up in the morning to her just sitting there flipping through her stupid novels. If she'd wanted a morning tumble, all she had to do was ask. I know she has a very high libido, and I know she's slept with a lot of guys/girls. She says I'm the only one she wants, but I also know she slept with her ex lover a few days after hooking up with me for the first time, and constantly rejecting me.

My happiest relationship, everything we did sexually was a joined activity, we watched porn together, we wrote it, we sexted, we role played, we had a very high drive because we made it clear we only wanted each other.

I understand that a lot of men and women want sexual freedom, etc.
But I don't. Should I be looking for a relationship with the same values, or is it stupid to care? I just feel silly because I've always found things like that to be stupid, honestly, if I'm not stimulated by the person I'm with I seek someone who does. I don't think I should be made out to be the bad guy because I want to be with a girl who appreciates me in the same way I do her.

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Comments ( 9 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • quentari
    10 years ago | pl

    Some people read those for the stories. Some read to get in the mood. Unless you wake up to her MASTURBATING to the erotica then get over it.

    Plus you did say you don't watch a LOT of porn, but watching ANY porn is worse than the average erotic novel.

    Even if she is masturbating to the novels take that as an invitation to "help" her finish.

    Everyone should be able to please themselves every now and again, especially if your sex drives are different.

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  • ccjigsaw
    10 years ago | pl

    So your basically a man who doesn't like his girlfriend reading porn. (It is basically porn.) I'm very amused and delighted to hear about you since you're the first male I've ever heard of with such a problem.
    I'm the same way btw. I prefer a lover that is only engrossed in me because I would do the same for him. I'm a tad bit more extreme though, as I prefer there to be no porn involved at all. I'll tell you what though, from "I don't watch a lot of porn" I can assume you are looking at porn which kind of gives her the right to be enjoying her porn as well.
    You do need to find yourself a girl that has the same morals as you. I don't think breaking up with your girlfriend will be all that easy, but I guarantee you she's not "the one," from what you've said so it's going to happen eventually. I just think things like her being with her ex after already being with you will haunt you for a long time and form resentment.
    It's my honest opinion that you should move on from that relationship and find yourself a more suitable girl. I managed to find myself a guy who has the same standards as me, and I think you can find a good girl who can commit herself sexually completely to you

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  • disthing
    10 years ago | pl

    It is stupid to care.

    She's not choosing erotica over you. Just as when you watch porn you're not choosing porn over her.

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    • MasonHanes
      10 years ago | pl

      I literally just said I don't watch porn - kinda the point. I'm not saying I've never seen it, I just don't care for it.

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      • disthing
        10 years ago | pl

        No, you didn't literally just say that. You said -

        "I don't watch a lot of porn"

        Not

        "I don't watch porn."

        There's an obvious difference. One means you never watch it. The other means you occasionally watch it.

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        • MasonHanes
          10 years ago | pl

          No, what I said was I've watched porn. I don't watch a lot. As in, it doesn't interest me. I've seen porn and I SAID I'd watched it with significant others. If I said I didn't watch it, you wouldn't have believed me. Anyway that's not the point. The point is, if I feel a certain way in a relationship I don't think I should be made out to be a bad guy just because I don't like it.

          I don't understand why people are berated for having certain preferences.

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          • disthing
            10 years ago | pl

            Well don't correct me when it's you who made the mistake and was unclear in your post :/

            Nobody said you're the bad guy just because you don't like your girlfriend reading erotica.

            You can tell her how you feel and try to work out a compromise. Perhaps ask her not to read it whilst you're around because it makes you jealous?

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            • MasonHanes
              10 years ago | pl

              That's why I tried to clarify - it was my mistake, but I thought about talking to her. I guess I'm so paranoid of coming off as controlling (unfortunately something I've been called before, mind you, the girl who said it was off the rails), and upsetting her, it's hard -_-

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  • handsignals
    10 years ago | pl

    Yeah dude it's cool, let her do her own thing...but if you come home one day and she's fapping over Max Hardcore...might have to start seeing other people.

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