Well, the relationship ended for me months before I broke up with him the first time. I had indigestion all the time and was deeply depressed. It would feel wrong when he even kissed me on the cheek. It made my skin crawl. As soon as the holidays ended last year, it was like a sudden cliff that my emotions took a jump off of. It was a matter of finding the courage to say, "I didn't want this" to someone I had once loved. I felt a lot of empathy for him and he made me feel like I was ruining his life by wanting my own happiness. There was a lot of drama, but I knew in my heart it was right.
All the depression wasn't because I didn't know what I wanted. I kicked myself for getting back with him. I knew it was wrong.
I have learned to love myself and became the person I want to be over the past 5 years. I'm a soul searching kind of person. He was my first everything, so it made it hard for me to pick up on what was wrong in the relationship. I saw a lot of red flags and ignored them because I did understand the gravity of them. I just thought this was how relationships were or how guys were. The more it went on, the more wrong I felt being a part of it. I just couldn't recognize it early enough.
I'm the kind of person who learns their mistakes. I didn't even cry this time when I broke up with him. It was just the right thing for me and my happiness.
As for how I don't know if this next guy will treat me like crap, I don't. That could be said for any other guy out there. I just know now what I don't want and what to look out for.
Thanks for your input! :) I'm happy to receive it! :)
Is it normal To be into someone so soon after leaving a relationship
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Well, the relationship ended for me months before I broke up with him the first time. I had indigestion all the time and was deeply depressed. It would feel wrong when he even kissed me on the cheek. It made my skin crawl. As soon as the holidays ended last year, it was like a sudden cliff that my emotions took a jump off of. It was a matter of finding the courage to say, "I didn't want this" to someone I had once loved. I felt a lot of empathy for him and he made me feel like I was ruining his life by wanting my own happiness. There was a lot of drama, but I knew in my heart it was right.
All the depression wasn't because I didn't know what I wanted. I kicked myself for getting back with him. I knew it was wrong.
I have learned to love myself and became the person I want to be over the past 5 years. I'm a soul searching kind of person. He was my first everything, so it made it hard for me to pick up on what was wrong in the relationship. I saw a lot of red flags and ignored them because I did understand the gravity of them. I just thought this was how relationships were or how guys were. The more it went on, the more wrong I felt being a part of it. I just couldn't recognize it early enough.
I'm the kind of person who learns their mistakes. I didn't even cry this time when I broke up with him. It was just the right thing for me and my happiness.
As for how I don't know if this next guy will treat me like crap, I don't. That could be said for any other guy out there. I just know now what I don't want and what to look out for.
Thanks for your input! :) I'm happy to receive it! :)
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AnalyticalAm
11 years ago
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Also, I'm sorry. I seem to write books all the time. I just like to be thorough when I write.