Seems like you were done with your ex a year ago, even though he's not over you yet and you dragged out your breakup over an entire year. But, you know what, that's not your problem anymore; his misery is his own. What you do with your personal life is entirely up to you. If you have feelings for someone else already, that's fine. And I don't think that you should allow your relationship with your ex determine the success of any of your future relationships with other men. Let go of that baggage and move on.
Give the new guy a chance. If it works out, that's great. If it fizzles out, that's fine too.
That's how I feel! It was over so long ago... I have a hard time with empathy. I feel bad killing bugs! There are a few sayings that are my mantra these days, "Never let kindness become a weakness", and "Make yourself"(Nike, but I love it still).
I think I still feel weighed down because we live together. We work opposite schedule, so it works to a point. In conversation, everything turns into a parallel to his life.
"The cat chose the box over me... Story of my life" -EX
Me:"I was up late talking to my brother. He had secrets to tell me."
Him: "I used to be someones VIP"
EX: "Do you know how to say goodnight in sign language?"
Me: "I can do more than that. I can say, "Goodnight. I'm tired. I need my soft, warm bed."."
EX: "I wish I had a soft, warm bed" (He does. He has his own queen bed to sleep on. It's comfortable and he has lots of heavy blankets. One is even fuzzy.)
He maintains he still wants to be friends, but its just a foot in the door. Its not going to happen. He thinks our life should be like a romance movie. Same formula: love, big break up, love forever after.
I just can't wait to be in separate apartments. I don't want to be around that negativity and listen to anymore bitter quips. I feel like I'll be able to let go then, because I'm not sitting around getting frustrated with him acting like he's a victim. I just don't say anything back. It's bad enough living with my EX, it doesn't need to get worse.
Honestly, I probably only have feelings for this other guy because he predates my EX. During my relationship I found I wasn't interested in anyone but my EX. Even now after him I see guys and recognize they are attractive, but I'm not attracted to them. If this guy doesn't work out it will probably be a good while before I think about guys romantically.
I find your story interesting as I've sort of experienced the same thing recently, sort of. I can relate to what you are going through. Your story also makes me feel stronger about my own story too. Thank you for sharing. :)
Is it normal To be into someone so soon after leaving a relationship
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Seems like you were done with your ex a year ago, even though he's not over you yet and you dragged out your breakup over an entire year. But, you know what, that's not your problem anymore; his misery is his own. What you do with your personal life is entirely up to you. If you have feelings for someone else already, that's fine. And I don't think that you should allow your relationship with your ex determine the success of any of your future relationships with other men. Let go of that baggage and move on.
Give the new guy a chance. If it works out, that's great. If it fizzles out, that's fine too.
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AnalyticalAm
11 years ago
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That's how I feel! It was over so long ago... I have a hard time with empathy. I feel bad killing bugs! There are a few sayings that are my mantra these days, "Never let kindness become a weakness", and "Make yourself"(Nike, but I love it still).
I think I still feel weighed down because we live together. We work opposite schedule, so it works to a point. In conversation, everything turns into a parallel to his life.
"The cat chose the box over me... Story of my life" -EX
Me:"I was up late talking to my brother. He had secrets to tell me."
Him: "I used to be someones VIP"
EX: "Do you know how to say goodnight in sign language?"
Me: "I can do more than that. I can say, "Goodnight. I'm tired. I need my soft, warm bed."."
EX: "I wish I had a soft, warm bed" (He does. He has his own queen bed to sleep on. It's comfortable and he has lots of heavy blankets. One is even fuzzy.)
He maintains he still wants to be friends, but its just a foot in the door. Its not going to happen. He thinks our life should be like a romance movie. Same formula: love, big break up, love forever after.
I just can't wait to be in separate apartments. I don't want to be around that negativity and listen to anymore bitter quips. I feel like I'll be able to let go then, because I'm not sitting around getting frustrated with him acting like he's a victim. I just don't say anything back. It's bad enough living with my EX, it doesn't need to get worse.
Honestly, I probably only have feelings for this other guy because he predates my EX. During my relationship I found I wasn't interested in anyone but my EX. Even now after him I see guys and recognize they are attractive, but I'm not attracted to them. If this guy doesn't work out it will probably be a good while before I think about guys romantically.
Thank you! I appreciate the feed back! :)
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equanimity
11 years ago
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I find your story interesting as I've sort of experienced the same thing recently, sort of. I can relate to what you are going through. Your story also makes me feel stronger about my own story too. Thank you for sharing. :)