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I am a virgin, have been called pretty very often, and pretty much "always" say no when people ask me out. Despite this, I can't help but fantasize about sexual situations with handcuffs, wearing revealing clothing, dressing up before sex, etc. But when it comes to being around other people, whether i find them attractive or not, I'm just super shy and don't like being touched or discussing relationships. Advice???
I would like to start by saying that if you have kinky sexual fantisies THAT IS WHY PORN WAS INVENTED! You can get out you desires but not have to have sex yet. Don't worry if you are to shy to date or actually have sex, just relax, and don't forget that everyone has sexual fantisies. Hell, the other day I was thinking about... well, I won't actually go into the details, but everyone can have thoughts like that.
Your fantasies ARE normal, and are likely a result of all of the taboo around sex, including things such as bondage, or handcuffs, or that dirty little affair you dream about having. It is all just about the spice. You are coming up with ways to make sex look fun and attractive.
I assume from you post that you are a woman, as men don't typically dress up, but they can, if so, stop worrying. All you need to do is find the person who you are comfortable with and things will work themselves out, it's human nature.
For now, keep it kinky, masturbate when you need to, and don't worry about it.
The fact that you have "kinky" sexual desires might be a contributing factor into your shyness with others you are interested in. Perhaps a bit of your fears that you aren't into "normal" sex carries over into whether or not you start getting into relationships: in other words, perhaps you worry that telling whoever you are dating about your sexual curiosities might lead to heartbreak or insults. This is just one possibility, not necessarily the right one. You should spend sometime soul searching what it is that causes you to be so introverted, what keeps you from reaching out and what makes you pull back (why you back away from touch etc)
I think your interests show a very healthy and active fantasy sex life, but you would be right to assume that if you are younger most of your peers will probably not "get it". The best advice I can give you on that front, is take your time choosing your first relationship, develop a strong screening process and makes sure that the person you choose to be with is someone who is non-judgmental and curious like yourself...and willing to move forward very slowly.
You will have to discover what holds you back in order to move forward, but your situation is not uncommon.
In most primates, there is a certain stage in development at which the individual becomes sexually aware and their body begins to prepare for sexual activity (and ultimately, child-bearing). For human beings, this process begins during adolescence. Essentially, you have become a sexual being. Your body is primed for sexual relations, despite the societal/cultural pressures to hold on to your virginity. The recurrent desires for sexual gratification in such "kinky" ways, simply suggests an admiration and deeply imaginative and explorative side to you sexually: when you become sexually active, you are likely to be more explorative in your appetites than some other people. This is compeletely normal.
i recommend, you reflect upon the reasons why you are so shy, and do not find physical contact gratifying. In the mean time, a little bit of fantasy here and there about what you will do when you get the chance is not likely to hurt you or anyone else.
I am the same way! I love to think about perfect relationships and perfect sex and all, but the second someone asks me out i say no. I try to get myself thinking that I am going to find the right guy I mean i am only a freshmen in high, so i have time but I know EXACTLY what you mean. Sometimes its so annoying because friends often say im always the single one... i guess i can live though teehee