I think there is a biological imperative to feel excited about procreating, but if your own goals are telling you not to have kids, feeling both pleased by the pregnancy and relieved by the miscarriage can be confusing as all hell.
I've always wanted to be a wife and mother - I have other goals as well, but none that would eclipse my whitebread, suburban mom instincts enough to make me decide against children forever. Still, when I had to have an abortion a few years ago, I will admit that I was simultaneously heartbroken and relieved: I was not ready for children, particularly financially. I also found out *after* my boyfriend and I had broken up, and I was not about to ask him back into my life to support a baby - honestly I had broken up with him for reasons that related to him being completely unreliable and a little too prone to violence. Not exactly a person a child should grow up with.
To summarize, we all have our reasons for choosing to have or not to have children. At least now, though, you'll have some perspective if you ever decide to try again. You may not be ready now, but if you ever get curious, you'll have this experience to look back on. Best of luck. :)
Is it normal to be happy about a miscarriage?
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I think there is a biological imperative to feel excited about procreating, but if your own goals are telling you not to have kids, feeling both pleased by the pregnancy and relieved by the miscarriage can be confusing as all hell.
I've always wanted to be a wife and mother - I have other goals as well, but none that would eclipse my whitebread, suburban mom instincts enough to make me decide against children forever. Still, when I had to have an abortion a few years ago, I will admit that I was simultaneously heartbroken and relieved: I was not ready for children, particularly financially. I also found out *after* my boyfriend and I had broken up, and I was not about to ask him back into my life to support a baby - honestly I had broken up with him for reasons that related to him being completely unreliable and a little too prone to violence. Not exactly a person a child should grow up with.
To summarize, we all have our reasons for choosing to have or not to have children. At least now, though, you'll have some perspective if you ever decide to try again. You may not be ready now, but if you ever get curious, you'll have this experience to look back on. Best of luck. :)
/hugs to you both