Well first of all, not all flatmates will want to socialise with each other. Usually it's the opposite; they see enough of each other at home so they don't want to always be hanging out together.
That said, it sounds like you're good friends with at least one of these people, and you're feeling excluded.
It's most likely not a conscious effort on their part. I doubt they're trying to exclude you, but they probably just forgot to ask or didn't give it a second thought. So don't take it personally.
I think you should a) make sure you have some other, outside friends to hang out with and keep you busy. If you're out doing things, the housemates will think you're popular and cool and want to hang out with you more. And if not, then you'll be out having fun anyway.
And b) Put forward your fun/happy side, jump in and hang out with them more, or suggest fun things to do. Be proactive solution. You've gotta make some effort as well, and maybe it's just a matter of getting to know them better. Get drunk with them.
The ones that have lived together before are probably just used to each other and content in their little group, and maybe it'll just take a little time spent hanging out for them to warm to you.
But, if you sense that they really don't want to hang out, then don't push it. It's totally normal even for good friends to get sick of each other, *especially when living together* so don't take it personally.
And you definitely don't want to be the needy person trying to force things on people; that'll just make it worse.
Is it normal to be excluded by friends/flatmates
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Well first of all, not all flatmates will want to socialise with each other. Usually it's the opposite; they see enough of each other at home so they don't want to always be hanging out together.
That said, it sounds like you're good friends with at least one of these people, and you're feeling excluded.
It's most likely not a conscious effort on their part. I doubt they're trying to exclude you, but they probably just forgot to ask or didn't give it a second thought. So don't take it personally.
I think you should a) make sure you have some other, outside friends to hang out with and keep you busy. If you're out doing things, the housemates will think you're popular and cool and want to hang out with you more. And if not, then you'll be out having fun anyway.
And b) Put forward your fun/happy side, jump in and hang out with them more, or suggest fun things to do. Be proactive solution. You've gotta make some effort as well, and maybe it's just a matter of getting to know them better. Get drunk with them.
The ones that have lived together before are probably just used to each other and content in their little group, and maybe it'll just take a little time spent hanging out for them to warm to you.
But, if you sense that they really don't want to hang out, then don't push it. It's totally normal even for good friends to get sick of each other, *especially when living together* so don't take it personally.
And you definitely don't want to be the needy person trying to force things on people; that'll just make it worse.
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7 years ago
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Thank you very much for this advice, I'll try it and see what happens.