@green_boogers and @gspyder
Obviously my marriage isn't perfect. I'm aware of that, but yes I am happy. Would I like things to be more mutual and open? Yes, but that isn't our reality right now. I get that this forum doesn't lend itself to complete understanding of another person's position, and I also understand how our relationship may sound odd. It isn't entirely normal I guess, but it is loving, nurturing and more than I envisioned marriage would be. What relationship is perfect? A bit b of background: I don't have much relationship experience outside of being with my husband. We married when I was 20 and he was 24. I know that's too young for most people, but he worked overseas for most of the year and it put a lot of strain on our relationship at the time. We were apart for most of the year for the first 2 years until I finished college, then I moved to be with him but we were still apart quite a lot due to the nature of his job and the fact that I didn't want to follow him around - I wanted my own friends, career, etc. I probably took the wrong approach in letting him control everything sexually whenever he was home, but at the time I really valued the time we had together and didn't want to spoil it with arguments over little things. Fast forward 10 years we returned to the states and his schedule had changed a bit, but not tremendously. His job is changed, but he still travels a lot and I still don't always want to go with him. We have been back almost 3 years - 2 years in one city, now almost a year in a new city, so it's not that I don't want to spend time with him, but I do want to have a life of my own. Plus we have a child now and I'd like to meet other moms in our area, make friends, arrange playdates, etc. So I have continued with running the household and allowing him to run things sexually because it is still easier. I know that he gets upset that I don't like to travel with him so I do my best to show him that I love him and want him to be happy in other ways, sexual things are very important to him, more than they are to me. So yes, we make compromises. My point is that my husband is not a jerk and I am not a fool. I'm just trying to find balance in things and also own up to my own mistakes while making gradual changes that appear beneficial for us both. Obviously, I'm looking for advice and trying to change some things and obviously I am a bit embarrassed about the way things are. I don't have very many close friends, but yes I would talk to them instead of strangers on the Internet if I felt completely comfortable with this part of my life.
IIN to be embarrassed to ask your husband to try anal sex
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@green_boogers and @gspyder
Obviously my marriage isn't perfect. I'm aware of that, but yes I am happy. Would I like things to be more mutual and open? Yes, but that isn't our reality right now. I get that this forum doesn't lend itself to complete understanding of another person's position, and I also understand how our relationship may sound odd. It isn't entirely normal I guess, but it is loving, nurturing and more than I envisioned marriage would be. What relationship is perfect? A bit b of background: I don't have much relationship experience outside of being with my husband. We married when I was 20 and he was 24. I know that's too young for most people, but he worked overseas for most of the year and it put a lot of strain on our relationship at the time. We were apart for most of the year for the first 2 years until I finished college, then I moved to be with him but we were still apart quite a lot due to the nature of his job and the fact that I didn't want to follow him around - I wanted my own friends, career, etc. I probably took the wrong approach in letting him control everything sexually whenever he was home, but at the time I really valued the time we had together and didn't want to spoil it with arguments over little things. Fast forward 10 years we returned to the states and his schedule had changed a bit, but not tremendously. His job is changed, but he still travels a lot and I still don't always want to go with him. We have been back almost 3 years - 2 years in one city, now almost a year in a new city, so it's not that I don't want to spend time with him, but I do want to have a life of my own. Plus we have a child now and I'd like to meet other moms in our area, make friends, arrange playdates, etc. So I have continued with running the household and allowing him to run things sexually because it is still easier. I know that he gets upset that I don't like to travel with him so I do my best to show him that I love him and want him to be happy in other ways, sexual things are very important to him, more than they are to me. So yes, we make compromises. My point is that my husband is not a jerk and I am not a fool. I'm just trying to find balance in things and also own up to my own mistakes while making gradual changes that appear beneficial for us both. Obviously, I'm looking for advice and trying to change some things and obviously I am a bit embarrassed about the way things are. I don't have very many close friends, but yes I would talk to them instead of strangers on the Internet if I felt completely comfortable with this part of my life.