Is it normal to be disgusted by everyone?

It seems like everyone I see around me acts happy all the time. It's no secret that people think of their own value in terms of how people around them see or treat them, which it why their self esteem plummets when they're singled out as different or whatever. To me, this just seems pathetic. If people don't have their own reasons as to what their own value is, shouldn't they reassess what and why they're living? I feel like everyone's floating on a raft through a sea of judgement, but as they hide from its glaring stare they contribute to it through their participation in propagating social expectations. Meanwhile, I'm sitting behind a desk listening to some stupid kid make giggley little comments to himself as he types in a macbook thinking about putting a knife through his adam's apple. I can't shake the growing disrespect I have for all but a very small minority of people and at the same time can't seem to find an answer to my own question. Why am I doing all of this? Right now it just feels like fear of death. Does anyone else feel the same?