Is it normal to be curious if my boyfriend masturbates?

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  • But we're just dating!!!! Hello??? "Watching each other" that involves naked... um... again, hello??? Kinda doesn't go by the good Christian relationship we have =P

    You can think I'm not in a mature relationship with him all you want, I know that I am. You don't know anything else about my relationship. You don't know what we're like when we're together, so how can you possibly tell me what's going to happen in our relationship? I bet you think you're such an expert behind that keyboard, but you're just hiding behind a computer screen. You got nothin on me.
    I know we are serious about each other, sex does not determine that. Last time I checked, a real relationship was about how much you love each other and how your friendship built that relationship.. not how much sex you can possibly have..

    We're planning on getting married in September.. just fyi

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    • You're getting too defensive when there are no attacks.

      First of all, I never said you had to start having sex - what I said was that it's OK *NOT* to rush.

      As for "mature relationship" ... You're mistaking my meaning - I was trying to be a little on the polite side without being over-blunt. But I'll go to blunt for you. ;-) When you're ready to start having sex you need to be open with each other about personal things.

      You seem to be assuming that I am promoting sex sex sex sex when actually I'm not. I'm promoting being open with your partner. Part of physical intimacy is learning to put aside shyness and really open up - not just your body but your mind to your partner.

      A good example of this is an "making love list". It's a list of what you want, no matter how secret the desire. And a list of what you never ever want to try. Lastly it includes a list of things you don't want but you'll compromise on with your partner.

      Part of maintaining a mature relationship (and this time I mean sex and being an adult about it) is simply being open with your partner.

      But remember.... this is something you decide when you start. You don't have to jump into bed with him right this instant if you're not ready. That's the point I've been making all along.

      What you should do is just... prepare your mind and heart for what is to come. And understanding that sex isn't all about tab A into slot B but opening up your secrets to your partner. And accepting his secrets as well without judgement

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      • We're waiting till we're married to have sex. Just to point that out.

        We already are open with each other. We've shared absolutely everything! I know his biggest secrets and he knows mine. We're so open with each other and we have no problem telling each other things.

        And also, I don't judge anyone.. ever. That's actually the biggest thing that caught his interest about me. Because, before we were dating, he was always judged by people around him.. and when I was the only one that didn't judge him, that caught his interest. So no, I don't judge him. I never would. It's not my place.

        Anyways... I'm just looking forward to our wedding September 28th ^_^ Well... once he gets up the courage to talk to my dad.. =P haha Anyways....

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        • "We're waiting till we're married to have sex. Just to point that out."

          and that's perfectly fine.

          When you're ready for it, don't forget the list I mentioned. When I finally found the partner I was meant for... we started discussing intimate practices, i was a bit surprised to find there were things i liked that i never considered before.

          and there are still things i never found appealing and never will.

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          • Can I also add that, I love your username? I really do. It's cool ^_^

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          • Ok. Well I'll make that list..

            Seriously. That wasn't sarcasm.

            Btw, you may (or may not) be happy to know, that tonight I DID actually find out that my boyfriend DOES masturbate... I didn't straight up ask him, but we got on one subject that led to another that led to another.... so yeah... Now I know =P

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            • see?

              sometimes having something like that out in the open removes tension.

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              • A little bit... but still

                I mean, all my previous boyfriends only wanted that.. and when they figured out they wouldn't get it, they left me... so I'm still a bit edgy when it comes to him, but it's because I absolutely adore him and don't want to lose him.. I'm just afraid that that'll be all he wants (even though he told me it's not)
                I've loved this guy for 3 years.. 2 of those years, he absolutely HATED me.. and I knew it.. Only this past year have we ever talked and we've been dating now for 3 months. So it's a big thing for me to have the man of my dreams.. I just don't want to lose him now.. =/

                Sorry.. I'm in a weird mood right now..

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