I don't know. I've never been in a relationship, I've had my chances, but didn't take them. And I've always liked guys. I have my crushes here and there on them, my emotions always seem intense when I do, and I've never felt anything sexual towards women. But just recently, a guy friend of mine kinda opened up my eyes to something that I never thought I would be faced with. Confusion. Confusion like, why was I not turned on in that moment that we had? We didn't have sex, but he let me experience something else, and honestly, the way I acted was not the way I expected I would. I thought for sure, that I would be all over him once I saw his "parts", but I wasn't at all. I actually felt... nothing. Its sad, but I kinda wanted to erase the fact that I did what I did. I went home regretting it. I felt disgusted with myself. I couldn't understand why I wasn't horny at that moment. I mean, I don't really like him in that sort of way, but normally when I think of a guys dick I do get turned on, but when his was actually right in front of me I was surprised that I didn't care. He asked me how I liked it, and I didn't want to insult him, so I was just like, "it was cool".
Now, I'm kinda weirded out by the fact that I wasn't satisfied in that situation. I'm worried now that if I one day do find someone who I love, and I have sex with them, I'm worried I'm gonna react in a way completely unexpected from how I feel like I would act before actually getting them. Like when I'm fantasizing about them, liking them from afar. If you get what I'm trying to say.
is it normal to be confused about your sexual orientation
← View full post
I don't know. I've never been in a relationship, I've had my chances, but didn't take them. And I've always liked guys. I have my crushes here and there on them, my emotions always seem intense when I do, and I've never felt anything sexual towards women. But just recently, a guy friend of mine kinda opened up my eyes to something that I never thought I would be faced with. Confusion. Confusion like, why was I not turned on in that moment that we had? We didn't have sex, but he let me experience something else, and honestly, the way I acted was not the way I expected I would. I thought for sure, that I would be all over him once I saw his "parts", but I wasn't at all. I actually felt... nothing. Its sad, but I kinda wanted to erase the fact that I did what I did. I went home regretting it. I felt disgusted with myself. I couldn't understand why I wasn't horny at that moment. I mean, I don't really like him in that sort of way, but normally when I think of a guys dick I do get turned on, but when his was actually right in front of me I was surprised that I didn't care. He asked me how I liked it, and I didn't want to insult him, so I was just like, "it was cool".
Now, I'm kinda weirded out by the fact that I wasn't satisfied in that situation. I'm worried now that if I one day do find someone who I love, and I have sex with them, I'm worried I'm gonna react in a way completely unexpected from how I feel like I would act before actually getting them. Like when I'm fantasizing about them, liking them from afar. If you get what I'm trying to say.