I feel your pain. My family was divided into three places, my parents lived in country X, my sibling and I in country Y, but different cities. I recently moved in with my brothers and oh how I hated it initially! Hate is actually an understatement, I was suicidal. There was a night when I was so miserable I had to call a crisis help line. You know the worst part- my brothers had no idea what they were putting me through. I am an extremely affable and nice person, even if I say so myself, yet at home I become this defenseless creature who needs to protect herself from the evil that is called family. My brothers make me feel like crap and show no remorse for humiliating me. I am so insignificant for them it hurts more than words can put. Four months of living with them and I wanted to kill my self, my self esteem was down the drain (this coming from someone whose planning med school). They have no idea how they make me feel. The crisis help center suggested I have open articulate conversations with them and confront them over what's causing me so much pain, or perhaps right them a letter. Being the doormat I am, I couldn't sum up the moral courage to do either. I've just grown a thicker skin now, they're still jerks. Communicating is hard enough as it is, throw in age difference, an asshole for a brother and cultural stereotypes, and you've gotten a tongue tied girl who hates coming home and feels bipolar. I've just minimized my interactions with them and plan to move out.
Is it normal to be caring around people but depressed at home?
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I feel your pain. My family was divided into three places, my parents lived in country X, my sibling and I in country Y, but different cities. I recently moved in with my brothers and oh how I hated it initially! Hate is actually an understatement, I was suicidal. There was a night when I was so miserable I had to call a crisis help line. You know the worst part- my brothers had no idea what they were putting me through. I am an extremely affable and nice person, even if I say so myself, yet at home I become this defenseless creature who needs to protect herself from the evil that is called family. My brothers make me feel like crap and show no remorse for humiliating me. I am so insignificant for them it hurts more than words can put. Four months of living with them and I wanted to kill my self, my self esteem was down the drain (this coming from someone whose planning med school). They have no idea how they make me feel. The crisis help center suggested I have open articulate conversations with them and confront them over what's causing me so much pain, or perhaps right them a letter. Being the doormat I am, I couldn't sum up the moral courage to do either. I've just grown a thicker skin now, they're still jerks. Communicating is hard enough as it is, throw in age difference, an asshole for a brother and cultural stereotypes, and you've gotten a tongue tied girl who hates coming home and feels bipolar. I've just minimized my interactions with them and plan to move out.
I'm sorry. I don't think I really helped you.