Is it normal to be both dominate yet also submissive?

Ok, normally I am dominant by nature, I prefer to be independent and in control of everything in my life, basically I'm a control freak when it comes to everything about me..BUT at the same time I am equally submissive in my true nature,and for example if I'm around a strong natured man,or even another woman, I immediately secretly begin longing to submit to them and let them lead me. I'm not a split personality but I do have both natures equally and just wonder why this is? How can I be so strongwilled and independent with one person yet instantly (and secretly) need to be controlled by certain people,especially sexually??

Is It Normal?
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  • Im like this in bed. I like to slap my wifes face and abuse her but I like when she does the same to me. She might tell me to not touch my dick when im going to cum and sometimes she will let me enjoy it and other times she will let go of it and ruin my orgasm. Ahhh i love that girl

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  • There is a word for this and it is called a switch or verse. Trust me it is normal.

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    • please elaborate..

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      • So they are really interchangeable terms within the younger bits of the kink community however it goes you can be dominant at times as well as submissive. Really this can change depending on environment and who you are around that can influence these shifts.

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  • I believe the term for that reference would be switch.

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  • I’ve heard about independent successful women who enjoy being dominated sexually, some describe it as a release from being the responsible one.

    As long as there is consent and safe words are being respected then it’s all well and good. Carry on.

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  • I think it's relatively normal depending upon who the other people are.

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  • This is SO normal! I've had to explain to dominant lovers that although I'm a strong opinionated independent woman, I sometimes enjoy being submissive sexually, but never when I'm feeling powerless for any reason in the rest of my life.

    It's just a way of giving up control and letting someone else take charge for a while.

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  • In what ways besides sex. Financials? Who makes the most money? Who decides what paint goes in which room?

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    • in every way! it's like i can lead in every aspect of my life until i speak with you and sense your dominance, then i want to submit to you. I am currently experiencing this with a woman at work, who is strong like me, and totally has it together, and i am secretly fantasizing of her just finding out and controlling every aspect of my life and punishing me when needed. yet she would never believe this since all she can see is my strong side. i think i 've even lost potential mates when i have suddenly allowed my submissive to show, mostly with guys suprisingly!

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  • It's common for people who are in high positions or just have dominant personalties in general like to be submissive as a sexual fantasy.

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    • thank you guys for input, but i guess what i'm trying to say is is this normal in things outside of sex, even though my mind always goes right to sex when it does? i know this sounds confusing!

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  • yes it is normal, as a matter of fact it has a certain term for it and that's being switch

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    • That's not quite correct: switch means someone who is sometimes dominant and sometimes submissive in sexual relationships. OP is talking about being dominant in his day to day life but wants to be submissive both then and sexually

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      • Yes, kind of correct. I'm (actually a woman though), normally in most everything i either do it myself or want to,and i always wind up having to take the lead when working with others and alot of times i am wrongly perceived as a snob or a bitch,(i'm really neither), but if i am dealing one on one with someone who i see as dominant like me,i like go back to feeling like a little girl and i suddenly feel submissive and actually want that person to lead me, and then my thoughts turn sexual which is equally split down the middle.. normally i am dominant in my sexual fantasies,(if you only knew!), but when someone who i sense as dominant gets me to my submissive thinking i change completely and NEED to be controlled and dominated in the bedroom to the point of being tied up and controlled. but then i can go back out afterwards and i'm completely needing to be a control freak! is this making any sense?

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