Is it normal to be as sexually inhibited as i am?

56% Normal
5 Comments

I never had a boyfriend and I have little interaction with men. I'm a virgin. I do actually have a sex drive. But just the idea of sex really fills me with shame, it almost paralyzes me. Because I see how sex is depicted in the media and it makes women look like mere things, and I don't want to be a mere thing. I don't know what normal sex looks like. And at the same time, I have a fear of men. I'm waiting until marriage by the way. But I feel that on my wedding night, I will be so terrified to go ahead that I will postpone the consummation of marriage. And I feel like that will go on for months. I feel like the man would eventually get sick of me and divorce me, and then go.

I don't want to die a virgin and its not that I don't have a sex drive, but I still repress the feeling and I'm terrified of making myself vulnerable to someone else like that.

IIN?

Voting Results
56% Normal
Based on 43 votes (24 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • (.)(.)boobies
    9 years ago

    It seems like you're aware that thinking this way of thinking isn't helping you. You also seem to know you're being influenced by the unrealistic portrayal of sex and sexuality by most media sources. Perhaps you'd be better off if you ignored those messages from typical media and sought out more realistic sources. Replace the misinformation you've received with more honest real-people kind of stuff.

    You're over-thinking this and going the wrong direction with that thinking. Sex with someone who loves you is a beautiful thing, there's no need to be afraid.

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  • Shoefish
    9 years ago

    You said you have little interaction with men. You should focus on doing something about that before worrying about your wedding night. I'm sure it will change your thinking.

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  • Dregonix
    9 years ago

    The media really does make it seem that way, but in real life things can be different. I felt the same way very much so, even as a guy - that if I wanted to respect women, I shouldn't be having lusty feelings for them. I think a lot of people feel how you do. But, I have found out that both genders enjoy and desire consensual sex. As long as you both want to do it, there is nothing wrong with it. It is natural and helps with bonding and intimacy in a relationship. There are plenty of men out there who will treat you as a person, too, and sex will feel like making a connection rather than being used as a piece of meat or a means to an end. Real life sex really doesn't often look / behave like it does in the movies on on TV.

    :) good luck in life, and don't think too much/ worry / dwell on it.

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  • Mersaphe
    9 years ago

    sex objectifies women, don't do it

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  • handsignals
    9 years ago

    Just do it, it's no big deal.

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