To the OP Wishful Thinker: my advice is to concentrate on you and improving yourself, doing things you like and that you feel fulfill and positively enrich you as a person. Take the focus off of what you don't have and find happiness in what you do, in the moment, and those who are fortunate enough to share it with you.
Everytime I do that, the guys come'a'flockin' like the swallows returning to Capistrano.
Thank you. I suppose that since my post was centered on being unhappy with one aspect of my life, lack of a romantic relationship, that I may sound like I'm unhappy with life in general. I enjoy my life but it would be nice to share that with someone. I do consider myself very lucky to have a wonderful and supportive family and friends that I wouldn't trade for the world! I have some health issues but I do what I can to not let that stop me from living my life. There are certainly plenty of people out there who overcome so much more! I truly appreciate your advice and will definitely focus more on the things that make me happy.
Good for you. You sound like you've achieved balance and happiness with your life. You've probably concentrated mostly on enriching yourself and what makes you and your loved ones happy, securing a future and becoming stable, putting your priorities in order so that now you can actually enjoy your life instead of being stressed out about several different issues. It's great that you have achieved that peace and contentment and you are very fortunate to have wonderful, supportive family and friends. Overall, it sounds like your life is much better than most people, and the only thing it's "lacking" right now is companionship with that one special person.
Most people, myself included, have been in long term relationships that may have enriched one area of their life, but took away from others, or they weren't complete in themselves, etc. I have had several long term relationships that did not pan out, and I didn't do anything to improve my own lot in life, giving everything I could to the relationship. I would invest everything in it and then, after years, end up not being with that person, which was devastating, sometimes economically and environmentally too, as I lived with these people, contributed my smaller paycheck to rent and bills, etc. I maintained my independence the whole time, but based my happiness on the relationship with someone else. Each time I would end up alone again, and lonely, because I never let myself get to know the awesome person that I am. Every time a relationship ended I would be more upset and more afraid that I would never find love, and no guy would ever look at me "at my age", whatever that would be when I was out of the relationship and "alone" again. It took me decades to realize I had to find that happiness within myself, and love myself first.
Once I started reinvesting in me, I was no longer lonely. I felt more fulfilled, happy, and like a better, more complete person than ever before. And guys of all ages, from 20 - 50+, flock like seagulls running so far away (song reference), to trip over themselves trying to do whatever I say to maybe be around me or with me.
But this is about you. I'm just letting you know the road not taken ain't necessarily all apples and caramel. But the road behind us isn't what's important, it's made us what and who we are, and now we're looking ahead. Since you've taken the time to balance your foundation, you might benefit from well-reviewed, competent, well-reputed dating sites if you're into that, or singles mingling events if you're an old-fashuoned IRL gal like myself, but since those seem to be often filled with agenda-seekers as much as sincere people looking for a connection, you may prefer a more natural artificial environment to meet up, like something that has to do with an interest, hobby or activity you enjoy. Comic Con, for example.
Best of luck, and no matter what happens, don't ever let anyone mistreat you. They're lucky to have you, and you deserve the best.
Is it normal to be almost 38 & never been in a relationship?
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To the OP Wishful Thinker: my advice is to concentrate on you and improving yourself, doing things you like and that you feel fulfill and positively enrich you as a person. Take the focus off of what you don't have and find happiness in what you do, in the moment, and those who are fortunate enough to share it with you.
Everytime I do that, the guys come'a'flockin' like the swallows returning to Capistrano.
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WishfulThinker
9 years ago
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Thank you. I suppose that since my post was centered on being unhappy with one aspect of my life, lack of a romantic relationship, that I may sound like I'm unhappy with life in general. I enjoy my life but it would be nice to share that with someone. I do consider myself very lucky to have a wonderful and supportive family and friends that I wouldn't trade for the world! I have some health issues but I do what I can to not let that stop me from living my life. There are certainly plenty of people out there who overcome so much more! I truly appreciate your advice and will definitely focus more on the things that make me happy.
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ifonlyuknew247
9 years ago
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Good for you. You sound like you've achieved balance and happiness with your life. You've probably concentrated mostly on enriching yourself and what makes you and your loved ones happy, securing a future and becoming stable, putting your priorities in order so that now you can actually enjoy your life instead of being stressed out about several different issues. It's great that you have achieved that peace and contentment and you are very fortunate to have wonderful, supportive family and friends. Overall, it sounds like your life is much better than most people, and the only thing it's "lacking" right now is companionship with that one special person.
Most people, myself included, have been in long term relationships that may have enriched one area of their life, but took away from others, or they weren't complete in themselves, etc. I have had several long term relationships that did not pan out, and I didn't do anything to improve my own lot in life, giving everything I could to the relationship. I would invest everything in it and then, after years, end up not being with that person, which was devastating, sometimes economically and environmentally too, as I lived with these people, contributed my smaller paycheck to rent and bills, etc. I maintained my independence the whole time, but based my happiness on the relationship with someone else. Each time I would end up alone again, and lonely, because I never let myself get to know the awesome person that I am. Every time a relationship ended I would be more upset and more afraid that I would never find love, and no guy would ever look at me "at my age", whatever that would be when I was out of the relationship and "alone" again. It took me decades to realize I had to find that happiness within myself, and love myself first.
Once I started reinvesting in me, I was no longer lonely. I felt more fulfilled, happy, and like a better, more complete person than ever before. And guys of all ages, from 20 - 50+, flock like seagulls running so far away (song reference), to trip over themselves trying to do whatever I say to maybe be around me or with me.
But this is about you. I'm just letting you know the road not taken ain't necessarily all apples and caramel. But the road behind us isn't what's important, it's made us what and who we are, and now we're looking ahead. Since you've taken the time to balance your foundation, you might benefit from well-reviewed, competent, well-reputed dating sites if you're into that, or singles mingling events if you're an old-fashuoned IRL gal like myself, but since those seem to be often filled with agenda-seekers as much as sincere people looking for a connection, you may prefer a more natural artificial environment to meet up, like something that has to do with an interest, hobby or activity you enjoy. Comic Con, for example.
Best of luck, and no matter what happens, don't ever let anyone mistreat you. They're lucky to have you, and you deserve the best.