I too experience the kind of anxiety that you have described above whenever I think about making friends or socializing with particular people. I have two words of advice for you:
1) quality vs. quantity. so, you might not have 5 amazing best friends. You may only have one. You may have none. What is most important is making friends with people that are genuine and can be trusted. Friends that make you feel comfortable and make you shine as a person. Friends that will last a lifetime. Friends that are negative, make you feel about yourself or are just plain annoying are a waste of time.
2) Don't waste your time with someone who makes you feel like you're going to throw up every time you think about hanging out with them. Yes, the first few times you hang out with someone, it is going to be awkward. This is INEVITABLE. You don't become completely comfortable around someone until you trust them and feel safe around them. Just be yourself, and within a few months, if you still feel uncomfortable, keep calm and carry on.
3) MOST IMPORTANTLY: Become your own best friend. Sometimes life will present itself with 'lonely' times in which you may not have many friends, if any. Who cares?! The only person in life who you need to care about being best friends with is yourself because at the end of the day, all you have is yourself. Friends will come and go. You will gain people's trust and then be betrayed. You will learn to love someone and then become completely disgusted with them. "C'est la vie"- as is life. This is what life is about. And the pickier you are with friends, the less these types of unfortunate events will occur.
Thus, you are perfectly normal. Enjoy your happiness. Most people are petrified of being alone and spending time by themselves. Embrace the fact that you love it.
Best of luck darling. And remember that you WILL make friends throughout your life, it is inevitable. Neighbors, classmates, waitresses or strangers you spark conversations with are all potential friends, you just have to wait for the right moment at which a friendship will begin.
Is it normal to be afraid of making friends?
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I too experience the kind of anxiety that you have described above whenever I think about making friends or socializing with particular people. I have two words of advice for you:
1) quality vs. quantity. so, you might not have 5 amazing best friends. You may only have one. You may have none. What is most important is making friends with people that are genuine and can be trusted. Friends that make you feel comfortable and make you shine as a person. Friends that will last a lifetime. Friends that are negative, make you feel about yourself or are just plain annoying are a waste of time.
2) Don't waste your time with someone who makes you feel like you're going to throw up every time you think about hanging out with them. Yes, the first few times you hang out with someone, it is going to be awkward. This is INEVITABLE. You don't become completely comfortable around someone until you trust them and feel safe around them. Just be yourself, and within a few months, if you still feel uncomfortable, keep calm and carry on.
3) MOST IMPORTANTLY: Become your own best friend. Sometimes life will present itself with 'lonely' times in which you may not have many friends, if any. Who cares?! The only person in life who you need to care about being best friends with is yourself because at the end of the day, all you have is yourself. Friends will come and go. You will gain people's trust and then be betrayed. You will learn to love someone and then become completely disgusted with them. "C'est la vie"- as is life. This is what life is about. And the pickier you are with friends, the less these types of unfortunate events will occur.
Thus, you are perfectly normal. Enjoy your happiness. Most people are petrified of being alone and spending time by themselves. Embrace the fact that you love it.
Best of luck darling. And remember that you WILL make friends throughout your life, it is inevitable. Neighbors, classmates, waitresses or strangers you spark conversations with are all potential friends, you just have to wait for the right moment at which a friendship will begin.
xx
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Whatisnormal890
13 years ago
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Thank you :)