From what I gathered, you admire from afar. You look but don't touch. As in you like the idea of being with someone, but when your dreams become reality things get a little shaky. As you said, you've never had a boyfriend before, so I get the vibe that you don't have much experience when it comes to how to act when someone likes you. I'm the same way. If you want to fall in love you have to start thinking of yourself as someone who can fall in love. I'm only saying this because, to me, it sounds like you have a low self esteem. From being depressed in the past I know that a low self esteem can seriously damage your dating life. Love won't just show up on your front door, it's something that you have to put in the effort to obtain. If a guy likes you, and you like him back, try to be confident and see where the relationship goes. Everyone deserves love.
Is it normal to be a straight girl and have crushes on girls
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From what I gathered, you admire from afar. You look but don't touch. As in you like the idea of being with someone, but when your dreams become reality things get a little shaky. As you said, you've never had a boyfriend before, so I get the vibe that you don't have much experience when it comes to how to act when someone likes you. I'm the same way. If you want to fall in love you have to start thinking of yourself as someone who can fall in love. I'm only saying this because, to me, it sounds like you have a low self esteem. From being depressed in the past I know that a low self esteem can seriously damage your dating life. Love won't just show up on your front door, it's something that you have to put in the effort to obtain. If a guy likes you, and you like him back, try to be confident and see where the relationship goes. Everyone deserves love.