Is it normal to be a gay in straight denial?

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20 Comments

I'll start off my story by saying I have always had these feelings. I've never really seemed interested in any relationship, period. But all of you know things change and can do so drastically and not on your own accord. Here recently I have been exploring my feelings towards both guys and girls. I knew I was more romantically attracted to guys. As in I could see myself dating guys and imagining encounters with them was a little easier to muster up. But when it gets past PG, I can't keep going on because I get turned off and just begin to feel weird. Especially when I know the person in my fantasy. I just kind of shy away and feel bad afterword and tell myself to forget it. These thoughts never enter my day life unless I am bored beyond all reason, so I never really get to marinate on them in public. The faint physical attraction for guys I view as an acquired taste. I worry if presented the opportunity I wouldn't react very well. Girls on the other hand, I have no emotional attraction to but that is made up with the amount of physical attraction. Not to go without saying I have moments sometimes where they don't work and I have to use a guy (What got me started thinking). I have also had problems with girl fantasies and see them as boring and the same shy thing comes up and the guilt trip follows afterword. What I'm trying to say is girls are easier to view in porn and guys are more interesting sexually. And as much as I don't want to say this, that's what I'm basing my physical attractions off of. I have thoughts about being gay more than being straight and I am pretty comfortable with any outcome. I guess you could say I kinda want to be gay but my mind comes in and floods it with thoughts about what I don't like in guys. It does the same thing with women if it's a mind created fantasy. But to wrap this whine fest up, I was wondering if it was normal to have these thoughts and that I may even be in fact a 'gay' in straight denial. Or am I just a mixed up platypus with no foreseeable outcome? Not asexual. Anyway, thanks for your time. You get extra cookies if you comment.

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72% Normal
Based on 135 votes (97 yes)
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Comments ( 20 )
  • Judas_misunderstood
    13 years ago

    Have sex for whatever reasons you like. There is nothing wrong at all with casual sex, providing both partners are of age, both consent, and nobody's getting hurt. Sex is fun. Having sex does not make you a bad person.

    Wanting sex with the same gender doesn't make you a bad person either. Nor does it make you abnormal. Yes, heterosexuality is the default, but homosexuality is not an abomination or anything for anyone else to get excited about.

    I don't particularly want to see you riding your buddies on the bus, but as long as you're not in my face about it, whatever you want to do is up to you.

    You might find you like both. I'd listen to Trekster37, he sounds like he's got it worked out.

    Peace!

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  • Carl
    13 years ago

    Find someone of your own sex and try it. TRY IT, TRY IT, TRY IT. You'll love it. I did and I wish I'd done it a lot sooner than I did. Sex with another guy is just so great!!

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  • Trekster37
    13 years ago

    Was in your shoes once. Then had a few encounters with guys and never looked back. Women are nice and soft etc lol, and emotionally there but for me they don't do it sexually. Yeah, I'm gay ok?? oh well. I didn't figure it out till I was 30 and had put myself and some chick through mental gymnastics. But Basically remember, you don't have to put a label on everything and life doesn't fit neatly into little squares. Just go with your feelings before you are too old lol.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Maybe your bi.

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  • waffle_wolf
    13 years ago

    Well, as you could guess I don't want to whore myself about or I would've had this problem solved. And where exactly do you run into a gay boy? The supermarket? Are they on sale? lol Thanks for the understanding answers!

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  • Phat
    9 years ago

    Hey there is nothing wrong with having dick in your mouth and having someone shove their dick in your ass. There is not a thing wrong with that. Its perfectly normal good luck on your life.

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  • lovetosucktoo
    9 years ago

    I have to say I have been where you are and understand how you feel. I was quite young when I was having these thoughts. My first sex was with a woman and I loved it then and still do now but at a very young age I was confusingly attracted to a man that was older than I was and we never talked about sex but one day I was at his house having a few drinks and he just asked me to suck him and I found I could not refuse. I wanted to do and think I surprised him when I said ok and I have loved sucking certain men ever since. I know I am bi but I love the feeling of pleasing a man

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  • Amryal
    13 years ago

    I dont believe in bi. Ur either one or the other. Have sex with both and see which one you liked. Then ull know.

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  • lvcumluver
    13 years ago

    Go for the dick, it feels better and taste great!!!

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  • camelmenthol
    13 years ago

    i think you're normal and thought you knew what you wanted but then started to think about the unexplored. haha almost all my friends were like that at some point honestly

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  • Puppylove
    13 years ago

    I guess... have sex with a professional sex worker of each gender. That way there's no pressure, no shyness, etc. just the bodies. Then you'll know...

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  • SatansBarbie
    13 years ago

    If you have gay thoughts, and you enjoy and want to go through with them, don't feel bad for it. Do what makes you happy. Fuck other people and their close minded opinions. Do you enjoy it? Then do it. Go out and do what makes you happy. If you have feelings for girls, the same. Sex is awesome. It can be wonderful. There is nothing morally wrong with it and you shouldn't feel guilty. Your guilt is what is turning you off. STOP FEELING GUILTY. Enjoy yourself. Love yourself. Indulge yourself. You can never be truly happy, until you love yourself. If you don't love yourself, you'll never be succesful sexually. Be confident and be true to yourself.

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  • Gr8whitehype
    13 years ago

    Sounds like your a good canidate for the "bi-sexual" tag if I were you just go for both and u will find your comfort zone or both at the same time which is also interesting and exciting

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  • chilledRunnings
    13 years ago

    Who cares?

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  • ryanthony
    13 years ago

    This isn't uncommon.

    People fall in love with people, not genders.

    I hope everything works out for you.

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  • Cosmicgiggle
    13 years ago

    Cookies! Your a prime example of the confusion that many face when discovering their sexuality. Lots of thinking and comparing. Try not to overanalyze what you like and don't like. Many of those questions will magically be resolved once you finally discover your primary choice. Good luck to you!

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  • behn37
    13 years ago

    I agree with the part when you said, "once I get past the PG part it feels weird", I hate when that happens. It's just awkward and I don't feel myself, which sucks. So yes, I think this is totally normal. Plus I think we all just need time to figure things out for ourselves.

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  • gowila
    13 years ago

    Just have sex with both

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  • more2c711
    13 years ago

    Maybe you need a gay boy that you don't know, who is understanding of your feelings and who would also make out with you if you wanted to explore that side of you. It sounds like you are more attracted to men, just come to terms with it, I did!

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  • gleekfreak92
    13 years ago

    Strangly, I fall in lust with men, and in love with women. I want to marry a woman and have children, but i want to have endless one night stands with men... I want to have sex more than a relationship... I want no relationship at all, but constantly fall in love with women, and have sexual encounters with men...

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