The middle ground is when someone says, "Can you do me a favour?" Do not rush in and say yes at once, say, "If I can."
Then they tell you what it is and you say, "Let me get back to you."
Then you sit back and think, "Would they do this for me?" and "Am I able to do this without too much inconveniene to me?" If both answers are yes, then call them back and say OK. If either answer is no - either 'forget' to get back to them coz you're sooooo busy at the moment, or call them back and say "I can't help you, I already have other plans for that day / date /...." Do not apologise for not being able to help!
It is their problem to sort out - not your's so don't try to solve it.
This advice completely changed my life as I used to have a 'rubber spine' bending over backwards to help everyone.
The Bible says 'Love thy neighbour AS thyself' - not more than yourself!!
I don't like confrontation either but have found that this works for me :o)
Is it normal to be a doormat?
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The middle ground is when someone says, "Can you do me a favour?" Do not rush in and say yes at once, say, "If I can."
Then they tell you what it is and you say, "Let me get back to you."
Then you sit back and think, "Would they do this for me?" and "Am I able to do this without too much inconveniene to me?" If both answers are yes, then call them back and say OK. If either answer is no - either 'forget' to get back to them coz you're sooooo busy at the moment, or call them back and say "I can't help you, I already have other plans for that day / date /...." Do not apologise for not being able to help!
It is their problem to sort out - not your's so don't try to solve it.
This advice completely changed my life as I used to have a 'rubber spine' bending over backwards to help everyone.
The Bible says 'Love thy neighbour AS thyself' - not more than yourself!!
I don't like confrontation either but have found that this works for me :o)