Is it normal to be a 23 year old virgin?

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5 Comments

So in HS I saved myself for the guy i loved thinkin it would happen in college but then got (minorly) sexually molested in college by a guy friend. I was shocked & then got too depressed/picky/put on some weight (as a defense thing) and now I'm too self-conscious! I'm almost 24 and I never meant to hold on to the card for this long and looking back the guys were all decent/hot enough for it to have been a good experience (except the one jerk) and now I regret not doing it back in HS when it was normal. I feel like I've wasted my youth and that teenagers know more about sex than I do! (Although at the time I felt empowered and good that I wasn't a slut.)

Now I'm talking to a guy long distance that I really like but don't know if I should tell him I'm a virgin? We're not official yet but I feel like it's getting in the way of our relationship from developing bc he's starting to think I'm just stringing him along bc I always turn down his requests to meet up. Part of the reason is that I'm scared he'll expect sex (he's a few years older/ more experienced) & then think I'm a freak and be scared off. What should I do and how normal is this?! Also, does this make me emotionally immature? (Btw, I don't ever plan on telling any future male partner what happened to me since the last thing I want is a pity party or for them to look at me differently. Not even my family knows.)

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 5 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • ygrowup
    12 years ago | pl

    You should tell him at the right time, so he will be understanding and gentle, but most of he will feel special!

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    • JadeH
      12 years ago | pl

      and we've been talking long dist for a while but we're not exclusive and we're not exactly consistent with online aiming either but every time we do talk, I can tell he makes a decent effort. We met in person when I visited my step-mom a year ago and we haven't seen each other since. Do you think he'll expect sex when we meet up again since we've kept in touch for this long? And how accepting are most guys in late 20s of virgins my age? And does it seem like we're not even anything serious? I have no idea if he even still likes me that way anymore since it's been so long.

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  • *heartbreak*
    12 years ago | pl

    . With yhu i'm saving myself for the one ilive after marriage.!

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  • shuggy-chan
    12 years ago | pl

    First stop making excuses and me up with him, i suspect that you, like me, have this selfdestructive tendency to sabotage ur relationship cause of ur own insercurities. If so trust me its not worth it.

    And 2nd I'd say if u guy really hit it off, the with in the first few dates, u should come clean about being a virgin, and maybe even make it a embarassing "if i seemed to have been wierd" kind of confession. That might help explain your shynesss and make him feel that much closer to u, that u shared something like that with him.

    well al this is assuming he is as good as u say, but best of luck!

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  • Tisgranum
    12 years ago | pl

    Too many virgins asking about if it's normal for it to not be considered at least common.

    Threads about: is it normal to be a virgin a xx age are almost like spam. They keep popping up everywhere.

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