Is it normal to be a 28-old teenager?

I feel so childish and idiotic. I have these bursts of hating myself about how aimless my life is (I'm still studying, I don't know what I want to do for a job, no relationship...), I drink too much, I don't have too many friends and I'm ashamed that I'm so lonely I often meet random people off the internet and then am sad when these never blossom into friendships or relationships.

I feel like I'm worse than most people my age out there. I don't know what is it that makes people enjoy life, form connections with other people, find love, and just be their authentic selves. I've been told many times I'm like a teenager and that I angst and overthink too much. I think that is true. Yet I can't just turn my brain off. I think and think about how I could be better, but this just makes me feel worse. Like other people don't even need to think about the stuff I need years to figure out. I'm so far behind in social stuff especially.

Is it normal to be like 10 years younger than you're supposed to be? I can't seem to connect with people my age. I always end up having to look up to them and it's exhausting.

Voting Results
83% Normal
Based on 29 votes (24 yes)
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Comments ( 15 )
  • SkullsNRoses

    You’re not a 28 year-old teenager unless your mum grounds you because she caught you sexting.

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  • momwatcher69

    Here's what I think you might try:

    Stop drinking, even if just for 1 day, go volunteer at a soup kitchen, homeless shelter, or church, serve a meal to the homeless, and envision YOURSELF, as one of them.

    A LOT of "those people" once upon a time, had careers, health, family, friends, a job, maybe a mortgage, and a LIFE.

    If it can happen, to THEM, it will surely happen, to YOU, if you don't find SOME purpose, or goal, or forward trajectory.

    Ask yourself, if THAT is where you would like to end up ? Then, ask THEM, how things got so bad, they ended up in your food line. Serving the homeless will accomplish several things, for you:

    1). It will show you how you DON'T want end up.
    2). It will make you feel good about yourself, for the day
    3). It will keep you sober, for a little while
    4). You will make some new friends - in person
    5). It will make you think, and perform some self-introspection
    6). It just MIGHT help you decide to "shit-or-get-off-the-pot ?

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  • CDmale4fem

    You need something to focus on besides being alone, drinking, and drinking alone. That's a recipe for depression like no other. Try finding someplace to volunteer, boys and girls club, older folks home, a library, etc. I feel like I don't have anything to focus on. I was trying to find or get bikes and parts, putting them together for people who could use one or needs. But to many people bring me stuff stolen, so I stopped doing it. You just need to feel like you have a purpose. It can't hurt to give it a shot. Oh yea even a local animal shelter to offer your time. If nothing else see if you town has a local chamber of commerce, they could point you in direction of those who need volunteers.

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  • McBean

    So you have emotions, you have thoughts, but you're missing the third most important thing - behavior. All three of these things are needed to adapt to the world, and make forward progress with development. Stop drinking and get a job. Start looking for things you can DO, not things you can think. Activity is the therapy you need. It will be awkward for a few weeks, and possibly awkward for a couple of months. When you get used to it, it will mean that behavior-emotion-cognition are becoming integrated. Forward progress will then be possible.

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  • Boojum

    Alcohol is never the answer to anything. It sounds like you're dealing with at least mild depression, and booze makes that worse. Alcohol is a depressant, it screws with your brain chemistry, and after the buzz from the first drink of the day, it pulls you down into deeper darkness.

    I would suggest that you give up booze for at least a month and see how you feel after that. If you find that you're unable to cope with life without alcohol, then you clearly have a serious problem with booze, and you should do something about that.

    I'd also suggest that you spend way too much inside your own head, and you possibly have unrealistic expectations of yourself and how life is supposed to go. I wouldn't be surprised if you spend a lot of time on social media and you believe that the carefully curated versions of themselves that people post there are a true reflection of their lives.

    It's not unusual for people to take a long time to find a purpose and decide what they need to do in order to feel that their life has some larger meaning. Spending time in natural surroundings can be a good way of getting out of your own head, and many people find that helping less fortunate people in some sort of voluntary way helps them gain some perspective on their lives and allows them to feel better about themselves.

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  • jethro

    Once you turn 20 you are no longer a teenager. Regardless what your mental hangup or mental deficiency is.

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    • Sad18yo

      I’ve got less than a year till then and it’s sad, confusing, and scary all in one

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  • Nikclaire

    It's fairly well known that drinking heavily will stunt your emotional development. Perhaps cut back or stop altogether.

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  • cipro

    yes, that is normal.

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  • SalivaJuice

    Yes! Same!

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  • 19sammi91

    Dude.. this is sorta me all over lol..I too am 28, dont have friends, overthink and angst bout stuff, barely have what you call a relationship (let alone normal one), I don't know what I wanna do/be/where to go, havent had a job in 8 months (last one only lasted 3months), I too wish I could switch off my brain, I'm not like anyone as had issues as a kid, different from everyone else, cant connect with anyone else, dont have a social life (I'm such a big loner), I took feel childish/stupid cause people tell me so, I have depression and anxiety, I'm big too and in need to lose weight, no self-esteem or confidence, emotionally AND mentally unstable, doesnt take much to upset me these days, felt suicidal on numerous accounts..

    So yea I do sympathize with you mate but you are not alone, there are people out there like us so try not to feel so alone or let life get you down..

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  • Wellyoudliketoknoweh

    People want things to move at an exhilarating rate, this is not right
    Also they tend to out problems down and make it seem like it’s your fault and/ or not important
    Well it is and don’t rush through time, at some point we are all going to die anyways. The people who rush, however, have a huge gap after they’ve done what they wanted. In many cases I think and then it might somehow turn into a midlife crisis. Which u are living through now, also called an episode of depression or anxiety.
    Maybe talk to a doctor about this if you can’t take it
    But like I said, a certain amount of people in this society feel that way, because we can’t all be the same and for some it’s just different. Not because you can’t, but you probably realized the heaviness of live early on and had not a good approach to live which resulted in not being able to make the strong social contacts you would’ve needed before that phase.

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  • Garthh

    I'll be your friend

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  • mauzi

    Same dude! except i gave up drinking mostly, because im too sick about every other week to enjoy it, & trying to get more healthy. I will be your age next month. the only good thing is that even my appearance didn't develop much past teen years. but i am starting to get signs of aging and it's make me sad. still don't know how to make friends & relationships irl. tired of online BS, wasted all my life on it

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    • CDmale4fem

      But if you were to continue a conversation long enough and be open enough to maybe allow someone to get a bit closer to know you better and you try and get to know them better. I understand the fears of the online stuff, but at some point listen to your female intuition. I'm to old to try playing games, if I was able to meet someone that can just "plug and play" and be ok with me and my life as is, it would just be nice to have a someone to curl up with at night. Then maybe I would start sleeping in my bed again. I get tired of being in it all by myself. It reminds me that my life went different direction than I thought it would.

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