Is it normal to bad mad at my friend for something she hid from me?

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WARNING LONG STORY: My best friend broke up with her very first boyfriend in February and after said she didn't like the experience and would wait until college to have a real relationship like she attemped before. She has continued to say that often whenever the subject came up but a week ago I found out she was talking to a guy. She never made a big deal about it. When I asked her about their relationship she said they were only friends and said again she didn't want a relationship. I accepted it and moved on until I got home from practice on Tuesday. She wrote me on facebook her plans for my birthday the next day and I decided to go on her profile. She wrote a status talking about her being really happy and something big had happened. I read the comments underneath and suspected something was up but pushed it to the side. The next day I came to my third period class and 2 girls that wrote on her status the night before, and are not very close to her, were talking about how they got my best friend and that guy together. From my understanding it had been going on for a while. During this entire conversation they were not even talking to me but to another girl in the class. I couldnt even find out from my best friend but by eavesdropping on a conversation. When I confronted her she told me that she didn't think the guy wanted her to tell. (I knew she knew he didn't care if those other girls knew before me and were spreading it around school.) Needless to say I had a sucky birthday. One of the main reasons why I am mad though is not because of the situation at all. I am her best friend and we tell everything to each other, but during her first realtionship she kept secrets from me. I am scared she's starting to drift away again. So is it normal for me to be mad at her? Am i overreacting? Where should I go from here?

Is It Normal?
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  • georgienne
    12 years ago | pl

    You're overreacting. She doesn't have to tell you stuff, especially as intimate as a relationship. It's a sector of life we don't need others knowing.
    Move on, or accept that this is her life, and she wants it on her own.

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  • maddie123
    12 years ago | pl

    Why should you care if your bestie dates? You DON'T need to know every detail of her life to be a best friend. Trust me, it's annoying for me at least when ppl try to get involved in my relationship. Even my best friends.

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    • loveya1394
      12 years ago | pl

      I am just confused as to why she could dicuss it with 2 other girls instead of me

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  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    12 years ago | pl

    She did nothing wrong.

    She is not obliged to tell you everything first. She may have had very specific reasons to tell someone else first, or she might not have even thought about it.

    Just be glad for her that she's happy.
    Egos heal very quickly if you don't feed them too much.

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  • Ldizzy1234
    12 years ago | pl

    I think it's normal that your mad, but I do think you might be overreacting a little bit.

    But I don't think you should worry about it too much. She was probably gonna tell you sooner or later anyway. Maybe she wasn't planning on telling you this early in the game, because she figures it's not really gonna happen/last. So she thinks, that she doesn't want him to get too tight/smug with her close friends(best friend: being you), because she figures it won't last, and she doesn't want him to have a harder time breaking away if you guys did decide to meet and hang out together.

    If you feel like you guys are really drifting apart, you should tell her about that. Explain to her that you feel like you guys aren't as close as you were before, and that you wish to have that back.

    And actually, you're right! It is pretty weird, that you had to hear about your best friends information "through the grapevine". So I see why you're a little mad. I mean, most of the time the best friend is supposed to be the first to know, right? I think you should tell her how you truly feel about whats really bothering you. How were you the last to know? And how were you the one who had to find out through gossip from random girls that you didn't even really know when you're her best friend?

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    • loveya1394
      12 years ago | pl

      Yeah, I don't know it just really hurt me to not even find out from her the most. thankyou for your insight.

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