It's pretty normal, honestly. I struggle with it, too, and still find myself getting a lot of anxiety about trying to look people in the eye. It's entirely possible that you are autistic and it just hasn't registered in tests, and it's equally possible that you aren't autistic and just don't like making eye contact, and either way that's totally normal and fine.
It really comes down to body language and communication. A lot of people equate eye-contact with attentiveness, which is why people often get frustrated at those of us who don't like looking people in the eye. Things like nodding, repeating back things that they're saying (not word-for-word necessarily), asking for clarification about things that they're talking about, and having an open posture are really good ways to show that you're listening.
I also have a few "cheats" like looking at people's mouths or eyebrows/forehead when they speak. If all else fails, a quick "Sorry, I promise I'm listening, I just find it helpful to look at something else so that I can focus on what you're saying," (or something along those lines that's true to you and in your own words) is generally enough for people. In my experience, people often appreciate my honesty with that, and it helps them to relax a bit and feel less self-conscious about their own little quirks around me, which makes our interactions much more comfortable for the both of us!
I do it because I have to read lips (I don't have the best hearing) and most people honestly don't notice. Though, I can imagine it's a context thing, and if you aren't used to reading lips you might watch someone's mouth in a different way than I do. Either way, that's a good point I hadn't thought of, thanks for pointing it out!
Is it normal to avoid eye contact?
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It's pretty normal, honestly. I struggle with it, too, and still find myself getting a lot of anxiety about trying to look people in the eye. It's entirely possible that you are autistic and it just hasn't registered in tests, and it's equally possible that you aren't autistic and just don't like making eye contact, and either way that's totally normal and fine.
It really comes down to body language and communication. A lot of people equate eye-contact with attentiveness, which is why people often get frustrated at those of us who don't like looking people in the eye. Things like nodding, repeating back things that they're saying (not word-for-word necessarily), asking for clarification about things that they're talking about, and having an open posture are really good ways to show that you're listening.
I also have a few "cheats" like looking at people's mouths or eyebrows/forehead when they speak. If all else fails, a quick "Sorry, I promise I'm listening, I just find it helpful to look at something else so that I can focus on what you're saying," (or something along those lines that's true to you and in your own words) is generally enough for people. In my experience, people often appreciate my honesty with that, and it helps them to relax a bit and feel less self-conscious about their own little quirks around me, which makes our interactions much more comfortable for the both of us!
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strangethingshappen
4 years ago
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Looking at ones mouth is quite intimate, I'd only think one would do this is they are attracted to the individual
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bubblegumz
4 years ago
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I do it because I have to read lips (I don't have the best hearing) and most people honestly don't notice. Though, I can imagine it's a context thing, and if you aren't used to reading lips you might watch someone's mouth in a different way than I do. Either way, that's a good point I hadn't thought of, thanks for pointing it out!