Is it normal to ask ur partner to only have sex with you

is it normal to ask ur partner to only have sex with you? if you’re in a commited relationship ? or is it selfish?

Voting Results
93% Normal
Based on 99 votes (92 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 91 )
  • _confused_

    It's normal... it's weird to even ask this question

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • lonewolf1253

    If your going steady, as they used to call it in my day, it means neither partner is allowed to play the field. This is a good arrangement as it eliminates jealousy and the risk of STD's from others. If he wants to screw around but not allow you to, then he's just playing you for a fool and you should dump him like a hot potato.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • he never said i couldn’t. he just said he would be pissed but wouldn’t break up with me over it

      Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Usually the person that wants more than they need is the selfish one.
    “Hey no fair! I want to have sex with everyone, you’re being selfish!”

    Umm, wrongo. You only /need/ to have sex with one person. Otherwise theyre the selfish one for wanting more than they need.

    OP, you’re completely normal for wanting stability. I’d leave him if I were you.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • It is normal. We were evolved to seek a single partner. It might not seem like it, as we also have reproductive urges, but raising a family, a child ultimately needs stability. Most people would feel insecure if their partner went around having sex with everyone. So yes, it's normal. If you and your partner both feel secure with the other having different sex partners, then it might work, but from your question I gather that is not the case.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • Nickvey

      bull fucking shit , our species practices serial monogamy, one fucking mate after another , want proof ? ask the children.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • That's not contradictory of what I've said. Serial monogamy is still seeking one partner, only the time frame is different. However, periodically seeking a new monogamous relationship doesn't make us happy the way one life partner does and it is a worse case for the children.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
          -
        • i don’t understand this

          Comment Hidden ( show )
    • lordofopinions

      Actually we evolved for the men to be promiscuous so as to spread their genes around to widen the gene pool. Females on the other hand usually want more stability as they need a mate or mates to hunt and provide while they take care of the children etc.

      It is believed that early humans rarely had one mate but lived communaly and screwed whatever woman was available. It must have made Father's Day a little confusing though. :)

      Comment Hidden ( show )
    • Ellenna

      Evolved to seek a single partner? Really? So that's why the divorce rate is growing all the time?

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • Marriage is an institution. What I am talking about is monogamy. Having one partner on the long run makes people more satisfied and balanced. And that environment is healthy for children as opposed to their parents going around looking for sex all the time.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
          -
        • Ellenna

          Surely that depends on the partner? It's not a healthy environment for children if one or both adults are miserable

          Comment Hidden ( show )
      • ??? sex isn’t why ppl get divorces

        Comment Hidden ( show )
          -
        • Ellenna

          But adultery often is

          Comment Hidden ( show )
        • The_Abnormal

          Learn to read. They're not talking about sex.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
            -
          • Ellenna

            Maybe you could learn to read the original post, which was about sex

            Comment Hidden ( show )
              -
            • The_Abnormal

              I wasn't talking to you :))))))

              Comment Hidden ( show )
          • then what r they talking about

            Comment Hidden ( show )
              -
            • The_Abnormal

              Learn to read. Then the answer will be right in front of you.

              Comment Hidden ( show )
  • itsamistake

    By any chance, is he 27 and you're 19?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Pumpurrnickel

    I'm surprised such a question needs to be asked. It's to be expected.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • RoseIsabella

      I know, right?

      Comment Hidden ( show )
  • SgtRock

    Both my right and left hands are very faithful. ;p

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • lordofopinions

      Yeah. Masturbate with your other hand. It feels like someone else. LOL

      Comment Hidden ( show )
  • redrainbow22

    Of course its normal.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • well apparently it’s selfish of me

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • RoseIsabella

        He's the only one that is selfish.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
      • redrainbow22

        Because the other person is a scumbag

        Open relationships are disgusting

        Comment Hidden ( show )
          -
        • Ellenna

          Open relationships are fine if they're open for both parties and both parties are happy about it

          Comment Hidden ( show )
            -
          • redrainbow22

            No.

            Ewww

            Comment Hidden ( show )
              -
            • Ellenna

              No-one's forcing you to be in an open relationship, but they can and do work for some people

              Comment Hidden ( show )
        • he’s like “sex is one of the greatest feelings in the world and your saying that i can only do it with you?”

          Comment Hidden ( show )
            -
          • RoseIsabella

            He's a little, selfish bitch of a guy.

            Comment Hidden ( show )
              -
            • redrainbow22

              Yup the minute you go into talking about sex like that, you know what their intentions are

              Comment Hidden ( show )
          • Cuntsiclestick

            You're better off finding someone else. Staying with this person isnt going to bring anything good.

            Comment Hidden ( show )
              -
            • Angelandme

              I bet you it'll bring clamidia, gonorhea and aids though :P

              Comment Hidden ( show )
  • IrishPotato

    Expecting your partner to just have sex with you is perfectly normal. I wouldn't feel comfortable with having to ask her to just have sex with me.

    You are completely wanting to, but if your significant other wants otherwise you should reevaluate your relationship.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • mc-nede

    Its called commitment. Its not selfish at all

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • lordofopinions

    Of course its normal. No one in a committed relationship should want their partner to spread it around. I would be pissed. Now if it was a group sex thing then that would be different. :)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • why

      Comment Hidden ( show )
  • curious-bunny

    Simple just tel him he can fuck around or he can have you in his life

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Iszzy123

    stand your ground and tell him "fine im selfish if you do like it so much theres the door. you can have as much sex and with who ever you want on the other side of it cause clearly im to selfish and not enough" then u run away crying and eat ice cream, watch life time, and change your face book status to single. then the guy that has been crushing on you see it and send you a massage but you thunk nothing of cause he's always been a friend so you have a coffee with him and things are good. suddenly your bf see you two together runs up and say he sorry he was stupited dont leave him you think it over you look at your friend tell him coffee was great and go back to your bf your friend is crushed but puts on a smile and cheers you two you walk away feeling a bit sad but believing you made the right choice a couple weeks later you two are fight again but its not been a couple weeks its been years and your both are miserable and have kids and hes cheated 3 times but he know you wont go causes of the kids and you hop on face book to see your friend update his status to seeing some one and at that moment you finaly realized

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • yeah dude! haha. what do you suggest i say next time i see him?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • RoseIsabella

      Say the same damn bloody thing! There was nothing wrong with what you said, girl. Who freakin cares if a cheater is heartbroken after being dumped for cheating? Cheaters deserve bad things in their lives!

      Comment Hidden ( show )
  • EnglishLad

    I always think if you're with someone you should only be with that person. I hate cheaters. Also, some of my kinks are really out there so they aren't the sort of thing any and every girl would be open to. Therefore it's only fair to ask my partner to be faithful too.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • If I were you I wouldn't even consider continuing with any discussion with him about whether or not it is acceptable to expect him to be faithful to you. If he feels like he needs to screw around and can't see why that is a problem then he clearly can't be trusted. That lack of trust would end it for me I would kick his ass out of my life double quick and not look back.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • bigbudchonga

    It depends, if he wants to sleep with other people then that's acceptable so long as you tell her first and remain emotionally connected to her. On the other hand it's pretty pathetic if you're girlfriend is sleeping with other dudes unless you have an arrangement where you both shag who you want.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • well that has never been an agreement

      Comment Hidden ( show )
  • RoseIsabella

    It's totally normal to expect your partner to have sex with only you if you're supposed to be in an exclusive committed relationship. By the way I wouldn't ask a partner to only have sex with me I would tell, and expect the partner to only be with me or else I'd have to give him the boot! By the boot I mean kicking him out the door of my life with a pair of vintage Doc Martens boots!

    Seriously, for most people a serious, committed relationship is automatically considered monogamous unless otherwise specified at the beginning of the relationship, and I'm completely not open to sharing in any capacity.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • same. so what should i tell him? you seem to know how to word things. i’m bad at it haha

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • RoseIsabella

        What have you told him so far?

        Comment Hidden ( show )
          -
        • that we are exclusive and id leave him if he cheated. then he goes, wow if u did that to me i’d be upset and heartbroken but i would get over it.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
            -
          • RoseIsabella

            Well, he's just a selfish pig. You can probably do better.

            Comment Hidden ( show )
              -
            • IrishPotato

              I'll have to disagree with Rose here. He's more of a scoundrel than a pig.

              Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Nickvey

    it does no harm provided you are faithful as well. had a roommate pull that crap on me. she said i could have sex with her if i was the only one. then i found out she was making dates behind my back. well if you are making dates with guys , you are fucking them as well. i never put constraints on her sex life obviously but if you demand a man only cum inside your pussy it should be on an equal playing field. hypocrisy that the one demanding faithfulness is the one cheating most of the time.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Committed = exclusive.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • Ellenna

      Not necessarily: it's possible to be committed in an open or polyamouros relationship

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • how. lol

        Comment Hidden ( show )
          -
        • nikkiclaire

          In order for it to work, trust and 100% honest communication have to be present. If both parties don't share the same mindset it will fail. This is true with any relationship though.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
      • It seems obvious the OP isn’t comfortable with that. So yeah, that’ll work out. lol.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
  • nikkiclaire

    It depends on the relationship. I would never ask my girfriend to only have sex with me. To me faithfull is being honest so as long as she is honest she can fuck whoever she wants. If she wants to include me, all the better. BUT we knew tgis about each other at the outset and have an agreement. I haven't used it but if I want to I can.

    Comment Hidden ( show )