Is it normal to always wonder why i don't have friends?

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You know I'm 23 years old and I have no friends. I've had people in my life come and go and never any I ever felt 100 percent of the time I could count on. I've had people I hang out with and they always seem to be the wrong croud. I've never been popular and used to get picked on. I don't know if that plays a role in me not being able to get friends but I don't know what does. I don't know if I'm doing something wrong or what. Why don't people like me you know? I even seem to push away people at my station. I'm married and I don't want this to affect my marriage and so I'm trying to figure it out. Any advice would help.

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  • Aleks85
    11 years ago | pl

    I have no friends (anymore) and I'm never going to change for anyone.

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  • wildswan
    13 years ago | pl

    Yeah I'd say work on the friendship with yourself first. Accept your situation, embrace it...

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago | pl

    Ask your wife. She married you. That seems pretty positive & 100%% there. Maybe she has some practical ideas.

    Doesn't sound otherwise like you have had a lot of good experiences that would build confidence. But there are 2 of you now. Look at her as your best friend.

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  • nothing2
    13 years ago | pl

    just start talking to people i guess, it can't hurt

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  • PoisonFlowers
    13 years ago | pl

    Sorry, I don't have much advice to give. I'm not exactly a people person myself.

    Do you not feel very confident around people? This can affect the way you project yourself to others. Also, it could help if you take your relationships a bit more casually. You probably won't know if you can depend on someone straight off - everyone starts off as acquaintances. It's only when you've ascertained that they're someone that you could actually become proper friends with rather than just an acquaintance that you can start to wonder about if you've got that level of loyalty from someone.

    Also, people who you can count on 100%% are generally quite hard to find in any case. They're what you call "true friends." Some people who supposedly have lots of friends still might not have someone they can call a true friend.

    Perhaps you could get to know some of your wife's friends and socialise that way too. It might be a little less daunting. Whatever you decide to do, remember that not everyone will like you and you can't like everyone either. It's all a matter of finding the right people. As you said yourself, you've fallen in with the wrong crowd before and that didn't help you even though you may have had people around you. We can't win with everyone, so don't take it too hard.

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    • MrFirefly
      13 years ago | pl

      Don't know if I said it already but Happy Holidays and thank you very much. That helped.

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