The best thing you can do is find yourself a good counsellor: Cognitive Behaviour Therapy can be very helpful, also Mindfulness Meditation.
Is your doctor any help in finding a counsellor? In my experience it's sometimes hard to find a good one.
You've taken one step in posting on this site, now you need to take that next step for yourself. Please do so because the longer this goes on the more entrenched it will become.
I recommend a book which has helped me on a number of occasions: "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist who survived Auschwitz and the extermination of his family, so he knows a lot about despair. The message that stands out for me is his belief that we all have a freedom no-one can take away from us, the freedom to decide how to respond to any given circumstance.
I hope I've helped - take care of yourself and trust that you can get through this and have a good life.
Is it normal to always think this irrationally?
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The best thing you can do is find yourself a good counsellor: Cognitive Behaviour Therapy can be very helpful, also Mindfulness Meditation.
Is your doctor any help in finding a counsellor? In my experience it's sometimes hard to find a good one.
You've taken one step in posting on this site, now you need to take that next step for yourself. Please do so because the longer this goes on the more entrenched it will become.
I recommend a book which has helped me on a number of occasions: "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist who survived Auschwitz and the extermination of his family, so he knows a lot about despair. The message that stands out for me is his belief that we all have a freedom no-one can take away from us, the freedom to decide how to respond to any given circumstance.
I hope I've helped - take care of yourself and trust that you can get through this and have a good life.