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Im always having bad thoughts. Like thoughts of killing people in unusual ways.I think of them as unworthy of living and deserve to be dead. This thoughts go mostly towards my friends and family. I don't know why because i love them with all my heart i don't think its normal to always be having thoughts of killing someone you love. Im not an aggressive girl I'm very sweet and caring. is it normal to have these thoughts?
" Im not an aggressive girl I'm very sweet and caring."
Yeah, right. :/
You are your thoughts.
If you "always have bad thoughts" about "killing people," then you really are an aggressive person--you probably just don't like admitting you are because it conflicts with your need to view yourself as "sweet and caring." It's called cognitive dissonance.
I want to expand on this a bit....
Always thinking about killing people you love is not normal.
It might be common for a few people, but it doesn't make it "normal".
Maybe you would never act out your violent thoughts, but you might have been malicious or aggressive towards other people in your life--most likely towards people who you don't "love".
You might be able to act sweet and actually care about others, however, possessing those qualities doesn't negate your persistent violent thoughts. It doesn't seem right to justify your thoughts of killing people with your favourable perception of your personality. Be honest with yourself.
Usually people have those types of thoughts when they are angry or feel a lack of control over their situation, but the thoughts are normally fleeting and specific to the moment. Sometimes people tell others about murderous thoughts for attention; they think it's cool or they like the reaction they receive. Other times it comes from a person's inflated sense of self-worth and pride. Whatever the reason is you have for these type of thoughts (I listed just a few possible reasons), you most likely have anger issues. Address your anger, find out why you experience it, and then manage it.
You might not be murderous, but your violent thoughts will manifest in other ways and you could be hurting people in non-physical ways, even if you aren't intending to do so.
I'm always wary of people's perceptions of themselves. It's like asking a man to write a biography on themselves and expect it to be totally non-biased and accurate; of course it's going to be riddled with falsehoods.
As Squirrel Whisperer said, who we are springs eternal from our thoughts. But you can change that; man isn't determined by his thoughts, his character, or even his intent.
Action determines who you are. So choose (act) to think on positive things.
It's probably OCD, obsessive compulsive disorder. If you have OCD, it's very common to have "intrusive" thoughts - usually, the worse they are, the more they upset you, and the more likely you are to keep having them. A stray thought about pudding doesn't bother you, but a stray thought about hurting someone you love bothers you so much that you start trying not to think about it, but that makes you think about it harder, or more frequently. Do you also find yourself counting things, or doing the same action over and over, or check things like the the door being locked or the alarm clock being set? Do you start to panic when you have these thoughts? Do you do something unrelated to try to get rid of the thoughts, like count to seven every time you think something bad? Do you wash your hands over and over? If any of this stuff sounds familiar, talk to a therapist. It's a pain to do that, but it's better than always being on the edge.
It depends I guess on why you're having them and when. For example I had thoughts about killing my friend when I was 11 and it was my personal way of telling myself I was hanging out with her too much and it was draining me. They were weird, graphic images and I didn't realize why I was imaging it until later on.
If what you are experiencing is normal or not, it depends on why. For one thing, it could be a sign of anxiety, but it would depend on why you are thinking these thoughts. When they come up, do you instantly feel highly uncomfortable and get worried or scared that they might die or get killed? Do you find they go off like a broken record? Do you worry about protecting them and making sure they don't die?
Also, do you do these out of fits of rage, like say when they wrong or irritate you? It might be normal, it might not be. I think it's more common that you think though to feel like that. Lots of people have strange, vivid imaginations. It's not what you're thinking, it's the context and the reasons why that root a mental problem, so I have no reason to think you're mentally ill at the moment. Unless these thoughts are causing serious distress aside from the fear that you're being crazy, I wouldn't worry about it.
I have those thoughts too. I imagine myself killing my boyfriend (it's always with the kitchen knife) - stabbing him in the neck. Sometimes I imagine how it would be if one of my sisters suddenly dies, who would be at the funerals etc.. I have those thoughts very often, some very cruel thoughts.
The best is I can't bear the sight of blood. It makes me faint.