I understand what you are experiencing, though I never cut myself. Sounds like you want to be happy and outgoing, but you have a lot of insecurities. The people around you make you happy and distract you from your problems. You have to start making changes in your life to boost your confidence.
What makes you happy? Do it. Find a way.
Are you a girl? If so, get a couple good friends and suggest you all give each other make-overs(not hair and make-up). This is more effective if you have different tastes. Go to a store/mall/outlet, you don't get to decide what you try on. Your friends do.
Find one really good outfit that makes you feel good about yourself, something to make you feel pretty. Bright colors help. It's harder to wear bright colors if you usually wear dark colors. You may feel and more noticeable. This may make you feel vulnerable. I think you may be feeling trapped under several layers of insecurity.
Start making little changes in yourself. If you look down when you walk, look out and ahead instead. It's going to be harder than it sounds. You may have created a lot of security blankets, things that make you feel safe and comfortable. Like dark clothes, baggy clothes, hands in pockets. You have to get rid of them to feel comfortable in your own skin, because I don't think you are right now.
A lot of people don't know that they can make themselves.
If you don't like yourself, you can change most of what you don't like. You have to learn to love yourself, and be the best you, you can be. It's liberating. Right now your aren't free. You've dug a hole and chained yourself down with self doubt and fear. Things don't change over night. But it becomes easier as you go along. Someday you will look back and say, "Wow. I can't believe how different I've become." It will still be you, just a more at ease, happier you. :)
Is it normal to act different?
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I understand what you are experiencing, though I never cut myself. Sounds like you want to be happy and outgoing, but you have a lot of insecurities. The people around you make you happy and distract you from your problems. You have to start making changes in your life to boost your confidence.
What makes you happy? Do it. Find a way.
Are you a girl? If so, get a couple good friends and suggest you all give each other make-overs(not hair and make-up). This is more effective if you have different tastes. Go to a store/mall/outlet, you don't get to decide what you try on. Your friends do.
Find one really good outfit that makes you feel good about yourself, something to make you feel pretty. Bright colors help. It's harder to wear bright colors if you usually wear dark colors. You may feel and more noticeable. This may make you feel vulnerable. I think you may be feeling trapped under several layers of insecurity.
Start making little changes in yourself. If you look down when you walk, look out and ahead instead. It's going to be harder than it sounds. You may have created a lot of security blankets, things that make you feel safe and comfortable. Like dark clothes, baggy clothes, hands in pockets. You have to get rid of them to feel comfortable in your own skin, because I don't think you are right now.
A lot of people don't know that they can make themselves.
If you don't like yourself, you can change most of what you don't like. You have to learn to love yourself, and be the best you, you can be. It's liberating. Right now your aren't free. You've dug a hole and chained yourself down with self doubt and fear. Things don't change over night. But it becomes easier as you go along. Someday you will look back and say, "Wow. I can't believe how different I've become." It will still be you, just a more at ease, happier you. :)
Hope this helped. :)
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joybird
11 years ago
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Great answer!
Might I also suggest you play some cheerful music when you are on your own and let the light flood into your home.
Don't hurt yourself - your family and friends love you.