When I get really attached to someone, then every day I'm visited by anxieties, that the person might leave, that they favor others over me (e.g., their parents), that they don't really love me, that they're not as committed as I am, etc. These anxieties cause a lot of problems. They may hurt the relationship and my loved ones, cause 90% of the arguments. They incapacitate me in other areas of life as well (e.g., finding it hard to focus on work, neglecting other relationships, losing appetite, staying up till the morning because you're afraid of not knowing what the person is doing while you're asleep).
If I was free from these anxieties, I could work to let the relationship reach its full potential. I do think that knowing that the person wouldn't leave (either because they didn't want to or because they COULDN'T) would calm me somewhat.
I wish I had the permanence. It's not fair that people think that if you disown your son, then it's just a formality and really he's still your son, but if you divorce your spouse, then yeah, they're not your spouse anymore.
All of that being said, I'm inclined to concede that I agree with you. Thanks.
(P.S. Honestly, I don't understand the "change" thing. Good people don't become bad unless they're wronged. Some things just don't change; there's a core that makes you you. There's a lot of change I can tolerate. If you take two things of a kind that are already similar and you put them under the same conditions, in the same environment, then naturally any changes they might undergo would be similar, especially when the subjects have good communication, to notice and regulate changes.)
IIN the thought of marrying a disabled person appeals to me because...
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When I get really attached to someone, then every day I'm visited by anxieties, that the person might leave, that they favor others over me (e.g., their parents), that they don't really love me, that they're not as committed as I am, etc. These anxieties cause a lot of problems. They may hurt the relationship and my loved ones, cause 90% of the arguments. They incapacitate me in other areas of life as well (e.g., finding it hard to focus on work, neglecting other relationships, losing appetite, staying up till the morning because you're afraid of not knowing what the person is doing while you're asleep).
If I was free from these anxieties, I could work to let the relationship reach its full potential. I do think that knowing that the person wouldn't leave (either because they didn't want to or because they COULDN'T) would calm me somewhat.
I wish I had the permanence. It's not fair that people think that if you disown your son, then it's just a formality and really he's still your son, but if you divorce your spouse, then yeah, they're not your spouse anymore.
All of that being said, I'm inclined to concede that I agree with you. Thanks.
(P.S. Honestly, I don't understand the "change" thing. Good people don't become bad unless they're wronged. Some things just don't change; there's a core that makes you you. There's a lot of change I can tolerate. If you take two things of a kind that are already similar and you put them under the same conditions, in the same environment, then naturally any changes they might undergo would be similar, especially when the subjects have good communication, to notice and regulate changes.)