*Caresses the soft pages and folds the crisp paper between fit fires*
"These fresh off the press pages are as smooth as your skin once you've gotten out of the bath and put women's moisturiser all over your hairless legs. Held between my fingers, these pages are crisp just like how your booty is taut when I spank it."
*Strokes the hard cover*
"Mm, Hitler, baby... This sturdy book cover is as hard as your *ahem* tank cannon when it trudges into battle and raises it edifice into the sky to shoot down those damned Allies."
Is it normal that when I smell books they remind me of Hitler?
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*Sniffs pages of a new book*
"Oh Hotler! This book smells like your sexy bod!"
*Caresses the soft pages and folds the crisp paper between fit fires*
"These fresh off the press pages are as smooth as your skin once you've gotten out of the bath and put women's moisturiser all over your hairless legs. Held between my fingers, these pages are crisp just like how your booty is taut when I spank it."
*Strokes the hard cover*
"Mm, Hitler, baby... This sturdy book cover is as hard as your *ahem* tank cannon when it trudges into battle and raises it edifice into the sky to shoot down those damned Allies."
*Passes out in Läger*