Is it normal that we hardly communicate?

How much communication with your significant other is enough? My boyfriend of three years goes to law school at night and I work all day and so during the week we hardly talk. I tried calling him during the week but he just sounds stressed out and frustrated from school and that makes me sad and not want to talk to him because it sounds like he doesn't want to talk to me. I usually only get a "goodnight I love you" text at night from him anymore. We see each other on the weekends, which I reserve for him because I miss him so much but we don't get to hang out if he has made plans with his friends. I know he never gets to see them too, but I feel like ever since we graduated from undergrad we don't communicate as much and him being a total dude feels like we are fine, but when I talk to him about how I feel and how I need quality time with him he takes it personally and gets defensive and says things like "that really hurts my feelings when you say that because I want you to be happy and I feel like there isn't anything else I can do to make you happy".

I love him and I know he loves me so I would hate for this one thing to ruin us, but I don't know how to get more --or at least a normal level of communication-- or approach it without offending him... What would you say? Thanks!!!

Voting Results
44% Normal
Based on 25 votes (11 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 5 )
  • scribblez83

    Have you tired emailing each other, or leaving notes / letters for each other. maybe start a note book and when each finish work you can write how your day was, down for the next person to read.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • muneko

    I'm here if u need somebody lol

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • n0TaNiceGirl

    I'm not going to say "yeah you're not talking so just throw this relationship away" that is not reasonable to me. You want something from him that he either cannot or feels that he should not have to provide. He may have a very different idea of what is "normal" amount of communication that you do. If you believe that this person loves you and that he is not cheating on you then you need to accept that only person that you can control is yourself and work on your issues. I would suggest that you check out the book "The five Love Languages" and any of the book on codependency by Melody Beattie. If after reading these books you still feel like he is not giving you what you deserve in the relationship I would discuss it with him again and if he is still defensive then perhaps its time re-evaluate continuing the relationship.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Communication isn't 'just one thing' in a relationship; Unfortunately I doubt that your relationship will last much longer this keeps up. Unless you can pretend that never seeing and rarely talking to your serious boyfriend whom is available to see and talk to is okay with you.
    Try talking to him again

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • lewlew80

    Looks like' bye bye' to me

    Comment Hidden ( show )