Is it normal that these things of the past have become me

63% Normal
3 Comments

Never have i understood poetic language as i do now. I feel like i now know the despair of such inspiration. Books and songs that i return to appear as my life at present. I read The Awakening in highschool, but 3 years later this story takes on a new meaning to me. I have sarcastically threatened my boyfriend that i would drown myself in the ocean to find freedom from his criticisms. He doesn't know what i'm talking about, but i am now a witness to Edna's oppression.i feel devalued as a person and i sometimes obsess over the symbology of Chopin's imagery.sometimes i cry, wondering if i will someday share Edna's fate.i don't know what to do.every song i used to listen to in my younger days describes a different melancholic aspect of my life. I don't think i'm yet depressed, but i do feel lost and alone, unknown to my self.

Is It Normal?
Feeling Suicidal?
We couldn't help but notice that you might be asking about things related to suicide...
If that's not the case, please ignore this message.
But, if that is the case, please, please, please call this hotline and talk to someone about it. Or, visit one of these websites and get some help.
Unfortunately IIN isn't the best place for you to be asking about this. Check out the above websites or call one of the hotlines instead. They can help. Really. We know what we're talking about. Call. Do it. Please.
Remember that everything gets better with time.
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 3 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • daisyy
    11 years ago | pl

    hej i feel the same way now... and I've read the awakening in highschool. back then, i thought it a terrible kitch "pride&predjudice etc." book. Well, and you're right, maybe I was wrong to judge Edna for killing herself and being "weak" because I can now feel her exhaustion and pain.
    Haha and I re-listen to my teenage music, too. like cat power, brian jonestown, jesus and mary chain, hope sandoval & co. even whitney houston's (r.i.p.)"Iwanna dance with somebody" makes me cry.

    I'm turning 20 in a few weeks and I just cant cope with myself being a somewhat melancholic young woman. It's not that I'm sad about sth concrete or depressive, it just seems to be my natural/normal "state of mind". Of course, when I'm with good friends I can forget about it all, but then, all of a sudden, this strange and very particular feeling overwhelms me and I'm completely defenseless.

    I just want to live in peace, dont wanna get annoyed by nosy people and small talk, dont wanna have to play anykind of role for anybody, dont wanna be judged. just wanna be loved and love.

    oh lord, i think I got a crush (not love) on someone who has had a crush on me before but doesnt feel this way no more. And this makes me sick and shiver, because I dont know why he's not interested in me any longer, makes me feel that I'm not loveable, not worth being loved. aiirgh its so bitter.hhhhhh
    hope you feel better now, knowing that you're not alone :)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    0
    0
  • DropThatGem
    11 years ago | pl

    You have more freedom than Edna... you can surely find more constructive ways to change your circumstances than the kinds of things she did in the book. You don't have to stick with your boyfriend if he makes you feel suicidal, however 'jokingly.' It's cool that you're experiencing art in new ways as you get older, but it's not good to get so caught up that you can't function and enjoy life.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    0
    0
  • hitchman
    11 years ago | pl

    quit yo jibber jabber, foo!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    -1
    -1