Consider talking to a professional about this, everyone has a kinky side, things that turn them on, but they shouldn't come at the cost of your health, you're at a good weight, its not good to be too thin or too big, consider talk to someone to get to the root of why you feel this way so you can move on with your life happily and make good decisions that you will not regret
IIN that the only thing that turns me on is the thought of myself fat?
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Consider talking to a professional about this, everyone has a kinky side, things that turn them on, but they shouldn't come at the cost of your health, you're at a good weight, its not good to be too thin or too big, consider talk to someone to get to the root of why you feel this way so you can move on with your life happily and make good decisions that you will not regret