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i should communicate with him more blah blah blah but the thing is we've been together for a long time, and i always get the impression I'M the only one making any effort to make sex any good- sometimes i actually have to say "you know what just forget it and get out of me"
Sex is something you learn, and like anything else, you need someone to encourage you, to tell you what you're doing right and wrong. After all, we are a species that learn from our mistakes.
If you're only telling him he's doing it wrong without specifying what it is he is doing wrong, how will he ever learn how to please you?
It doesn't matter if you've been together for a few days, weeks, months, or years. At the end of the day, he isn't a mind reader. So yes, i'm going to tell you to communicate with him.
If you're not willing to do that, you should think about leaving him. He needs someone who will encourage him, just as you need someone who can please you.
Think about it.
I do encourage him- a lot.. in fact i try to avoid being completely negative when it comes to discussing sex. I'll tell him what's good at the time whereas i'll leave the negative things until sometime when we aren't in bed together so that he doesnt associate sex with being criticised- it's not like he's bad or inexperienced etc