I think those are normal feelings to have about death. I don't have any advice, but I can share how I've felt about it in the past.
When I was twelve years old, I watched a movie called Shaka Zulu (1987) about the entire life of a Zulu leader. It disturbed me to see Shaka getting older and having to dye his greying hair to maintain youth and respect from his people. He struggled for so long, only to be destroyed by colonialism. I also watched Empire of the Sun and Platoon that year. I read Watership Down, Johnathan Livingston Seagull, and Animal Farm, then watched the movie versions.
Death didn't frighten me as much then, but the though of being an insignificant anecdote in the saga of human history consumed me for years.
Is it normal that sometimes I fear death a lot and sometimes I don't?
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I think those are normal feelings to have about death. I don't have any advice, but I can share how I've felt about it in the past.
When I was twelve years old, I watched a movie called Shaka Zulu (1987) about the entire life of a Zulu leader. It disturbed me to see Shaka getting older and having to dye his greying hair to maintain youth and respect from his people. He struggled for so long, only to be destroyed by colonialism. I also watched Empire of the Sun and Platoon that year. I read Watership Down, Johnathan Livingston Seagull, and Animal Farm, then watched the movie versions.
Death didn't frighten me as much then, but the though of being an insignificant anecdote in the saga of human history consumed me for years.