This "back up" so-called friend is using you, don't accept her invitations and let her wonder why: it's OK to just say "I don't want to come to your house" with no explanation - let her sweat!
I wouldn't dismiss all the counsellors in the world because you didn't get what you needed the only time you tried! But of course that's totally up to you - counsellors don't have magic wands or solutions, although some pretend they do, but often they can help you get through bad times quicker by being impartial sounding boards. Bullying could never be the victim's fault, but certainly people who are a bit different or with low self esteem are prime targets, maybe that's what she meant? Being a loner is fine if that's how you are, but low self esteem can be changed: I know it can!
I took your advice and I didn't immediately talk to her at school. Usually when I see her and some other girls I come up to them and start chatting right away and I initiate conversations because they sometimes ignore me like I'm a wall (Its frustrating). This time I was patient and I didn't run up to them because if they were really interested in talking to me they would start a conversation with me instead of me jumping head first all the time. And I did see a change its like they were missing the attention that I was giving them. I wasn't paying attention to them so much more and I feel its definitely going to be for the better. I chatted with the other girls who are nicer.
I'm not a loner myself, maybe I appear not so confident sometimes but I definitely am more social this year at school. I don't hang out alone, I socialize with friends and I sit with a couple of kids and eat with them during lunch. (The girls who make the gestures and say that theres always a smell when I'm around are also part of this little group. Like I said above I'm not paying them mind so much but I'm talking to the nice girls who sit with them).
If you ever see me I usually have a poker face on. But when I'm socializing I'm smiling and what not. I've been told a couple of times that I'm pretty and I personally think that I'm not unattractive where people would make fun of me for my looks (sorry I'm trying to give you an idea).I don't have any special needs or that much low self esteem that they would pick on me for, I think its directed more towards the situation of "smell" or "odor" or whatever they are smelling if they even are smelling anything. I'm staying strong though, I'm trying not show at least that I'm paying attention to this.
I really appreciate your effort to help me in my situation! Thanks for all the tips this goes out to everybody else who helped as well :)
I'm so glad your situation at school as changed for the better! Even if it's only a small improvement right now, you can build on it and move on from this painful stage in your life.
Don't forget YOU changed it by changing how you responded to these idiots: congratulations and I'm really pleased if anything I wrote helped. I was passing on the message of my favourite quote of all time, from Victor Frankl's book "Man's Search Meaning" to the effect that there's one freedom no-one can take away from us, the freedom to decide how to respond to any given situation .... he survived Auschwitz so I reckon he knew what he was talking about.
Is it normal that people around me act as if I smell?
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This "back up" so-called friend is using you, don't accept her invitations and let her wonder why: it's OK to just say "I don't want to come to your house" with no explanation - let her sweat!
I wouldn't dismiss all the counsellors in the world because you didn't get what you needed the only time you tried! But of course that's totally up to you - counsellors don't have magic wands or solutions, although some pretend they do, but often they can help you get through bad times quicker by being impartial sounding boards. Bullying could never be the victim's fault, but certainly people who are a bit different or with low self esteem are prime targets, maybe that's what she meant? Being a loner is fine if that's how you are, but low self esteem can be changed: I know it can!
Good luck however you decide to handle it
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StanlaRodgers
8 years ago
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I took your advice and I didn't immediately talk to her at school. Usually when I see her and some other girls I come up to them and start chatting right away and I initiate conversations because they sometimes ignore me like I'm a wall (Its frustrating). This time I was patient and I didn't run up to them because if they were really interested in talking to me they would start a conversation with me instead of me jumping head first all the time. And I did see a change its like they were missing the attention that I was giving them. I wasn't paying attention to them so much more and I feel its definitely going to be for the better. I chatted with the other girls who are nicer.
I'm not a loner myself, maybe I appear not so confident sometimes but I definitely am more social this year at school. I don't hang out alone, I socialize with friends and I sit with a couple of kids and eat with them during lunch. (The girls who make the gestures and say that theres always a smell when I'm around are also part of this little group. Like I said above I'm not paying them mind so much but I'm talking to the nice girls who sit with them).
If you ever see me I usually have a poker face on. But when I'm socializing I'm smiling and what not. I've been told a couple of times that I'm pretty and I personally think that I'm not unattractive where people would make fun of me for my looks (sorry I'm trying to give you an idea).I don't have any special needs or that much low self esteem that they would pick on me for, I think its directed more towards the situation of "smell" or "odor" or whatever they are smelling if they even are smelling anything. I'm staying strong though, I'm trying not show at least that I'm paying attention to this.
I really appreciate your effort to help me in my situation! Thanks for all the tips this goes out to everybody else who helped as well :)
--
Ellenna
8 years ago
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I'm so glad your situation at school as changed for the better! Even if it's only a small improvement right now, you can build on it and move on from this painful stage in your life.
Don't forget YOU changed it by changing how you responded to these idiots: congratulations and I'm really pleased if anything I wrote helped. I was passing on the message of my favourite quote of all time, from Victor Frankl's book "Man's Search Meaning" to the effect that there's one freedom no-one can take away from us, the freedom to decide how to respond to any given situation .... he survived Auschwitz so I reckon he knew what he was talking about.
Everything good to you for 2015!