Yeah...it always feels bad to upset them...but upset definitely is a step up from swallowing superglue...
My grandmother thinks I'm insane for apologising to them for anything, but especially if I snap. Um. No. I'm an adult, they're a child. I have the bigger responsibility to remain in control than they do. I'll explain to them why I did what I did, but also make it clear it doesn't excuse my behaviour. If I expect it from them (to an age appropriate degree) then I sure as fuck need to do it, too.
I'm sorry to hear about your mum :( I feel like being willing to make that effort to be better honestly makes more of a difference than we can realise. I was partly raised by my grandmother and she was raised by an awful, emotionally abusive mother and carried her own scars from that...plus the generational expectations...I feel like each generation improves upon the last in our family, apart from the ones that don't care to try.
It is a hard balance...but honestly, "strictness" is not as important as loving boundaries.
You sound like your best is working really well. You should be proud of yourself.
IIN That parents don't want to punish their children for bad behavior?
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Yeah...it always feels bad to upset them...but upset definitely is a step up from swallowing superglue...
My grandmother thinks I'm insane for apologising to them for anything, but especially if I snap. Um. No. I'm an adult, they're a child. I have the bigger responsibility to remain in control than they do. I'll explain to them why I did what I did, but also make it clear it doesn't excuse my behaviour. If I expect it from them (to an age appropriate degree) then I sure as fuck need to do it, too.
I'm sorry to hear about your mum :( I feel like being willing to make that effort to be better honestly makes more of a difference than we can realise. I was partly raised by my grandmother and she was raised by an awful, emotionally abusive mother and carried her own scars from that...plus the generational expectations...I feel like each generation improves upon the last in our family, apart from the ones that don't care to try.
It is a hard balance...but honestly, "strictness" is not as important as loving boundaries.
You sound like your best is working really well. You should be proud of yourself.