Really hard to do much with a kid for one week...you can't really build up a relationship with them. I can totally understand why you lost your cool with him.
It sounds like he's been given no boundaries at all. Maybe a combination of being the youngest and having a strong personality.
It's hard to say what would/could work without actually observing the child and knowing their background, but generally speaking, you've got to be exhaustingly proactive with a kid like that...keep them super occupied and your full, invested attention, so they dont get a chance to be "bad", then positively reinforcing the behaviours you want to see. Consequences for bad behaviours that are proportionate and non negotiable. I have a no hurting others and no causing damage blanket policy. That behaviour immediately results in removal of whatever they've used to cause harm, potentially removing them from the situation, requiring them to help make reparations (take care of who you hurt, clean up mess, etc etc) and calm explanation of why. Toddlers'll probably scream at first because the reason they've acted this way is processing biiig emotions/attention seeking and it's happened because I haven't been on the ball. My current almost three year old bopped me on the head the other week with a telescope and got it taken away and I ended up hugging him because he was crying haha. But we talked through, I explained that hurting other people isn't acceptable. He hasn't done it again, and I've seen his role playing reflect that he has taken the lesson on board.
Ideally, I see it coming before it escalates, and I defuse the situation either with redirection or discussion and diffusion.
A five or six year old who has been allowed to get to the level you're describing isn't going to be an easy fix. It comes down to how his parents have reinforced his behaviour (potentially they've grown lax in their youngest...age difference between kids? He may have been a particularly strong willed toddler and they didn't have the time or energy to invest? Kids are fucking exhausting...but not putting the time in seriously fucks you all up...)
Idk if any of that helps. It's pretty general. It doesn't sound like a fun situation for anyone there. I feel bad for the kid, the siblings and you.
Well, I won't go into too much detail but one of the parents is in prison, due to an incident of negligence that put the youngest in the hospital. That probably had some impact on the kid. The other parent is abusive. Not really more than my own father was, but still abusive. So I just try and be a positive influence if I can, by being a good example when I'm around.
IIN That parents don't want to punish their children for bad behavior?
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Really hard to do much with a kid for one week...you can't really build up a relationship with them. I can totally understand why you lost your cool with him.
It sounds like he's been given no boundaries at all. Maybe a combination of being the youngest and having a strong personality.
It's hard to say what would/could work without actually observing the child and knowing their background, but generally speaking, you've got to be exhaustingly proactive with a kid like that...keep them super occupied and your full, invested attention, so they dont get a chance to be "bad", then positively reinforcing the behaviours you want to see. Consequences for bad behaviours that are proportionate and non negotiable. I have a no hurting others and no causing damage blanket policy. That behaviour immediately results in removal of whatever they've used to cause harm, potentially removing them from the situation, requiring them to help make reparations (take care of who you hurt, clean up mess, etc etc) and calm explanation of why. Toddlers'll probably scream at first because the reason they've acted this way is processing biiig emotions/attention seeking and it's happened because I haven't been on the ball. My current almost three year old bopped me on the head the other week with a telescope and got it taken away and I ended up hugging him because he was crying haha. But we talked through, I explained that hurting other people isn't acceptable. He hasn't done it again, and I've seen his role playing reflect that he has taken the lesson on board.
Ideally, I see it coming before it escalates, and I defuse the situation either with redirection or discussion and diffusion.
A five or six year old who has been allowed to get to the level you're describing isn't going to be an easy fix. It comes down to how his parents have reinforced his behaviour (potentially they've grown lax in their youngest...age difference between kids? He may have been a particularly strong willed toddler and they didn't have the time or energy to invest? Kids are fucking exhausting...but not putting the time in seriously fucks you all up...)
Idk if any of that helps. It's pretty general. It doesn't sound like a fun situation for anyone there. I feel bad for the kid, the siblings and you.
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Pilum
2 years ago
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Well, I won't go into too much detail but one of the parents is in prison, due to an incident of negligence that put the youngest in the hospital. That probably had some impact on the kid. The other parent is abusive. Not really more than my own father was, but still abusive. So I just try and be a positive influence if I can, by being a good example when I'm around.
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charli.m
2 years ago
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Shit. Poor kids. Yeah, that'll definitely be impacting them.
You sound like you're doing a great job. Kid's lucky to have someone who cares.