Is it normal that my sister screams and shouts at my parents

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3 Comments

So heres the thing, for like 2-3 times a week my sister and my mom would fight, and I call it a fight but its really just my sister just screaming at my mom and crying. Shes turning 13 soon and I'm wondering if its just puberty or not. The thing is the issue is so prevelant that we had cops called on us at least twice from our neighbours due to either noise complaints or because they thought somebody was in distress. Theres no violence coming from my parents, and its usually my sister who hits and throws stuff in anger. We wonder if its something to do with my parents treating her like a princess from a very young age and never getting mad at her or scolding her, but the issue may be more complex then that. I'm also worried for her mental health as shes stuck in her room for 90% of the day and won't even join us for dinner. If one person says ONE thing that she doesn't like (and most of the times we say it unintentionally) she explodes and it lasts 20-60 minutes each time. Additionally she won't talk to anyone but my mom when shes angry and if anyone else tries to join she explodes even more. Its been like this for the last 5 years and i'm worried how this will affect my sister's future life and my mom, whos just so emotionally drained from being screamed at by her own daughter. Please, any input will help.

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14% Normal
Based on 7 votes (1 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • ItsTheSquidMan
    3 years ago

    Sounds like my brother with Asperger's who has been spoiled his whole life to keep the peace. No child acts like that unless they're a brat or have some type of mental problems.

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  • FromTheSouthWeirdMan
    3 years ago

    It very well may be because of her being spoiled her whole life. I had serious anger problems even to this day. Little things get me mad like certain noises and shit. But I never dared do that around my parents when I was a teenager because I was genuinely scared of my dad. The first time I got my nose broken was by my dad when I said "whatever" to mom after she screamed at me for not doing the dishwasher. If my dad had not been so intimidating I probably would have been like her but I was scared to behave like that.

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  • Boojum
    3 years ago

    If she's thirteen and this shit has been going on for five years, then it's unlikely to have much to do with the mental chaos caused by the hormonal storms of puberty.

    I don't see why you believe that this behaviour might not be due to her being raised by parents who apparently never set or enforced any boundaries. If you train a kid to believe that the whole freaking cosmos revolves around them, then they're going to grow up feeling entitled to do and say whatever they want, to have zero consideration or understanding of the needs and feelings of others, and to treat like shit anyone who thwarts them in any way.

    I can't say what exactly your sister's problem is, or what you and your parents can do about it, but one thing is very likely: if you think she's bad now, you ain't seen nothing yet. Even mentally healthy kids with loving parents who have their heads screwed on right and understand that kids need structure and sensible rules in order to feel safe and secure can become obnoxious shits when they have to deal with the emotional upheaval and social pressures that come with puberty. It sounds like your sister has nil self-control, very little insight or understanding of what she's feeling or why, and is totally self-centred now. It's very likely that's going to get worse before (and if) it gets better. Also, she's going to get bigger and stronger, and it's not uncommon for angry, frustrated teens to lash out physically as well as verbally.

    If your parents had any sense, they would have been able to acknowledge that the situation is intolerable and they would have sought family counselling long ago. It's interesting how they haven't. Maybe that's due to being too proud to admit there's a problem, or an inability to accept that their sweet little girl has turned into an obnoxious shit. Or maybe some part of them secretly enjoys all the drama, and there's some co-dependency crap going on.

    While I'm sure you find it very difficult to live with your sister and watch what goes on between her and your parents, the bottom line is that this is not your problem to sort out. It's up to your parents to accept that there is a problem and up to them to figure out what can be done about it.

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