his parents decided they wanted to live a certain lifestyle. they dont want a lot of money...they want to be vegan. they think missionary work is important. They just raised him differently... as every parent has a right to do.
Any parent instills in their children all of their views and beliefs...or lack of beliefs. Just because parents are religious does not = cult and brainwashing.
every child at some point grows up and can start deciding for themselves. Parents will always have "advice" "criticism" of their children.
i mean honestly. this is what i read...i like materialistic things but my parents dont have extra money for all the things i want. I dont have the same religious views as my parents. everything they did shaped my personality. everything they did ruined my education. They ruined my health. Parents are supposed to give me all my happiness and success.
his parents arnt normal no. but thats just the hand he was dealt.
he is 21 now. its not his parents fault anymore. The way he is now is his own doing. If he doesnt like his personality... work on changing himself one step at a time...go out and make new friends... get a job to buy things he likes... study online...learn something new every day...talk to a doctor on what his body needs to feel healthier...listen to doctor and eat the foods he likes... most importantly move out and find happiness and success on your own. you will value it more when you arnt given it just work hard.
my parents wouldn't allow me get to out in this filthy world they say. im not living in america when you can actually get out of your parents home after 18, im living in Philippines where religious fundamentalist parents are rampant because of poverty, lack of social welfare, under urbanized, under civilized, rapid spread of religion and the gap of wealth status.
i don't know why cant they make me a better person yet my cousins did made it despite our anti-worldly religion the point is you don't choke religion in the mouths of your children instead you instill values using what can the religion offer just a matter on how you provide the right amount of religious stuff rather than forcing it.
an example from some article in the net
Falling into the temptation of using religion to control their children through guilt and shame.
“Jesus is watching you!” Even the best parents can find themselves wanting some divine backup in a conflict with their children. However, using God for intimidation in a conflict with children has two major issues. First, it means children are associating God as “against them.” Second, it means that the parent is not building a personal relationship of trust with the child. It is better for parents to use their faith to help the child understand the reason the parent, themselves, act the way they do. We need more of “God gave you to me and I am doing my best to honor that gift by raising you well.” We need less of “God says to obey me, and you are disobeying God.”
The parents seem to be afraid of the world, instead of empowered to live in it.
Christians see themselves as “apart from the world,” but that is so we can help the world, not be afraid of it. Christian parents who constantly talk about the world as an evil, malevolent, and dangerous place which must be avoid as much as possible, it paints a grim view of the future for young adults wanting to find their own place in life. If a parent lives in fear of the world, the children will pick up on that and will naturally seek alternative beliefs. Christ did not give us a spirit of fear of the world, but compassion for it.
The children do not see the parents drawing any joy from their faith.
If a parent’s religion is maintained out of guilt and obligation, their children will pick-up on that burden. If parents are full of joy, love, and enthusiasm for their faith and community, their children will pick-up on that as well. How a parent behaves in their faith is more important than what they tell their children about their faith. A parent can be the best apologetics scholar in the world, they will not win over their child while they are spiritually depressed.
The children are discouraged from finding answers to their questions.
Each generation of young Christians are going to challenge their parents with new questions about Christianity in the modern world. It is impossible for parents to prepare for or know all the answers for these questions. The only way to address this need is for parents to ask these questions with their children. Parents who ignore, suppress, brush off, or give trite simplistic answers to their children’s questions are at risk of greatly frustrating them. No one needs to have all the answers. Children will not only respect a “I don’t know, let’s find out together,” they will remember such journey’s for the rest of their lives. It is also the most powerful opportunity for a parent to grow in their faith, to experience Christianity again through young eyes.
The children believe they have nothing to offer the Christian community.
Parents who are engaged and active in a church community are more likely to have children who find ways to participate in the Christian community at large. Parents and churches have a responsibility to help children know they have gifts, talents, and inspiration that are not only welcome in the community, they are vital to it. If children feel like Christianity is just following other people, it will not be relevant to them as they grow. Christianity needs to be understood as something we all work together to build.
i cant advise you on the Philippines since i have never lived or even visited there.
if its not religion then it would just be something else the parents used to control their children...just saying. if it wasnt religion then you would be complaining of whatever else it was...something for you to think about.
but in their very strict faith Jesus is watching you...
i dont think they are trying to put god against the child or anything like that...i think it would stem from a fear of going to hell. They dont want you to go there ether. Since they are so strict this could be another reason.
what you are doing is listing the kind of christian house you wish you grew up in. Wishing your parents did it this way... this is a list of perfect parents...
something you will never find. and i doubt anyone would do all these all the time with their child.
you need to stop wishing what your parents could or should be like...and deal with what they are. you have recognized the problem yourself...thats good. now you need to fix it yourself. you are still an adult and in your own way you can change some things on your own. YOU need to make YOU a better person.
you have internet access use it to further your knowledge.
Is it normal that my parents downgrading me?
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omg your comparing his parents to a cult?
his parents decided they wanted to live a certain lifestyle. they dont want a lot of money...they want to be vegan. they think missionary work is important. They just raised him differently... as every parent has a right to do.
Any parent instills in their children all of their views and beliefs...or lack of beliefs. Just because parents are religious does not = cult and brainwashing.
every child at some point grows up and can start deciding for themselves. Parents will always have "advice" "criticism" of their children.
i mean honestly. this is what i read...i like materialistic things but my parents dont have extra money for all the things i want. I dont have the same religious views as my parents. everything they did shaped my personality. everything they did ruined my education. They ruined my health. Parents are supposed to give me all my happiness and success.
his parents arnt normal no. but thats just the hand he was dealt.
he is 21 now. its not his parents fault anymore. The way he is now is his own doing. If he doesnt like his personality... work on changing himself one step at a time...go out and make new friends... get a job to buy things he likes... study online...learn something new every day...talk to a doctor on what his body needs to feel healthier...listen to doctor and eat the foods he likes... most importantly move out and find happiness and success on your own. you will value it more when you arnt given it just work hard.
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gum3rdm
8 years ago
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my parents wouldn't allow me get to out in this filthy world they say. im not living in america when you can actually get out of your parents home after 18, im living in Philippines where religious fundamentalist parents are rampant because of poverty, lack of social welfare, under urbanized, under civilized, rapid spread of religion and the gap of wealth status.
i don't know why cant they make me a better person yet my cousins did made it despite our anti-worldly religion the point is you don't choke religion in the mouths of your children instead you instill values using what can the religion offer just a matter on how you provide the right amount of religious stuff rather than forcing it.
an example from some article in the net
Falling into the temptation of using religion to control their children through guilt and shame.
“Jesus is watching you!” Even the best parents can find themselves wanting some divine backup in a conflict with their children. However, using God for intimidation in a conflict with children has two major issues. First, it means children are associating God as “against them.” Second, it means that the parent is not building a personal relationship of trust with the child. It is better for parents to use their faith to help the child understand the reason the parent, themselves, act the way they do. We need more of “God gave you to me and I am doing my best to honor that gift by raising you well.” We need less of “God says to obey me, and you are disobeying God.”
The parents seem to be afraid of the world, instead of empowered to live in it.
Christians see themselves as “apart from the world,” but that is so we can help the world, not be afraid of it. Christian parents who constantly talk about the world as an evil, malevolent, and dangerous place which must be avoid as much as possible, it paints a grim view of the future for young adults wanting to find their own place in life. If a parent lives in fear of the world, the children will pick up on that and will naturally seek alternative beliefs. Christ did not give us a spirit of fear of the world, but compassion for it.
The children do not see the parents drawing any joy from their faith.
If a parent’s religion is maintained out of guilt and obligation, their children will pick-up on that burden. If parents are full of joy, love, and enthusiasm for their faith and community, their children will pick-up on that as well. How a parent behaves in their faith is more important than what they tell their children about their faith. A parent can be the best apologetics scholar in the world, they will not win over their child while they are spiritually depressed.
The children are discouraged from finding answers to their questions.
Each generation of young Christians are going to challenge their parents with new questions about Christianity in the modern world. It is impossible for parents to prepare for or know all the answers for these questions. The only way to address this need is for parents to ask these questions with their children. Parents who ignore, suppress, brush off, or give trite simplistic answers to their children’s questions are at risk of greatly frustrating them. No one needs to have all the answers. Children will not only respect a “I don’t know, let’s find out together,” they will remember such journey’s for the rest of their lives. It is also the most powerful opportunity for a parent to grow in their faith, to experience Christianity again through young eyes.
The children believe they have nothing to offer the Christian community.
Parents who are engaged and active in a church community are more likely to have children who find ways to participate in the Christian community at large. Parents and churches have a responsibility to help children know they have gifts, talents, and inspiration that are not only welcome in the community, they are vital to it. If children feel like Christianity is just following other people, it will not be relevant to them as they grow. Christianity needs to be understood as something we all work together to build.
<a href="http://www.redletterchristians.org/five-reasons-christian-parents-lose-their-children/" rel="nofollow">http://www.redletterchristians.org/five-reasons...</a>
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reminiscent
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sorry for the late reply
i cant advise you on the Philippines since i have never lived or even visited there.
if its not religion then it would just be something else the parents used to control their children...just saying. if it wasnt religion then you would be complaining of whatever else it was...something for you to think about.
but in their very strict faith Jesus is watching you...
i dont think they are trying to put god against the child or anything like that...i think it would stem from a fear of going to hell. They dont want you to go there ether. Since they are so strict this could be another reason.
what you are doing is listing the kind of christian house you wish you grew up in. Wishing your parents did it this way... this is a list of perfect parents...
something you will never find. and i doubt anyone would do all these all the time with their child.
you need to stop wishing what your parents could or should be like...and deal with what they are. you have recognized the problem yourself...thats good. now you need to fix it yourself. you are still an adult and in your own way you can change some things on your own. YOU need to make YOU a better person.
you have internet access use it to further your knowledge.