I have tried more times and ways than I can even remember to learn to like my name. It always seems to go over about as well as trying to get comfy in a bathtub full of hydrochloric acid. :/
Like I said, it was always slightly uncomfortable, it just slowly got more and more awful over time until I became entirely dissociated from it internally.
I think about it all the time. Literally every time someone calls me by my name I cringe a little bit.
I certainly don't LIKE the feeling that I'm just running away from something though. I do feel like I'd like to be okay with myself, but I feel like it would be just as easy if others would just agree to call me by other names I pick.
(Oh my gosh I'm so sorry that I'm ranting at you like this.)
But for example I tried to get everyone to just. Call me something different for a while. So I had a poll, picked the top one, and tried to get people to just call me by it. A lot of people complied and it felt SO REFRESHING AND NICE. SO GREAT. But some people just threw ridiculous stupid hissy fits over it and refused.
So it would seem that it's not so much that I need to find the right name, as that I would prefer ANY OTHER NAME BUT THIS ONE.
I was thinking, why don't you put all the energy you can, in being a new person, and legally change your name to some variate of Katherine. I'm sure there are many variations. That's the best I can do. Sometimes I don't think of myself as Alec, but as Alexander. And that leads me to ask, have you thought about your name meaning?
It means pure. I feel that names are more than just random choices, alexander- defender of man, couldn't suit me better.
I'm gonna ask one thing of you, try not to defend yourself from this idea, even given how much you have tried and tried to do something because I believe it can be done. I just found some awesome variations to the name.
Hmm.
Okay.
I'll make you a deal. c:
I'll keep looking for an alternate version of Katherine that doesn't mean what Katherine means, because I don't think that one fits me at all. If I find one that fits me, I'll try that one.
Deal? :D
Is it normal that my name affects my identity this way?
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I have tried more times and ways than I can even remember to learn to like my name. It always seems to go over about as well as trying to get comfy in a bathtub full of hydrochloric acid. :/
Like I said, it was always slightly uncomfortable, it just slowly got more and more awful over time until I became entirely dissociated from it internally.
I think about it all the time. Literally every time someone calls me by my name I cringe a little bit.
I certainly don't LIKE the feeling that I'm just running away from something though. I do feel like I'd like to be okay with myself, but I feel like it would be just as easy if others would just agree to call me by other names I pick.
(Oh my gosh I'm so sorry that I'm ranting at you like this.)
But for example I tried to get everyone to just. Call me something different for a while. So I had a poll, picked the top one, and tried to get people to just call me by it. A lot of people complied and it felt SO REFRESHING AND NICE. SO GREAT. But some people just threw ridiculous stupid hissy fits over it and refused.
So it would seem that it's not so much that I need to find the right name, as that I would prefer ANY OTHER NAME BUT THIS ONE.
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Short4Words
10 years ago
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I was thinking, why don't you put all the energy you can, in being a new person, and legally change your name to some variate of Katherine. I'm sure there are many variations. That's the best I can do. Sometimes I don't think of myself as Alec, but as Alexander. And that leads me to ask, have you thought about your name meaning?
It means pure. I feel that names are more than just random choices, alexander- defender of man, couldn't suit me better.
I'm gonna ask one thing of you, try not to defend yourself from this idea, even given how much you have tried and tried to do something because I believe it can be done. I just found some awesome variations to the name.
Hoping for the best,
Alec
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Anonymous Post Author
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Hmm.
Okay.
I'll make you a deal. c:
I'll keep looking for an alternate version of Katherine that doesn't mean what Katherine means, because I don't think that one fits me at all. If I find one that fits me, I'll try that one.
Deal? :D