Is it normal that my name affects my identity this way?

47% Normal
30 Comments

Speaking about myself in the third person makes me uncomfortable. It doesn't feel like I'm referring to myself. I honestly generally just respond to assertions that sound like names and are said in my general direction, which is why I suppose when I say it internally it doesn't feel right.
I've never felt as though my name is actually attached to or right for me.
I'm very open about that, but I also feel as though that's generally seen as a very immature thing to feel and that many of the things I'd choose would seem equally immature or dumb to other people. I've attempted to change my name before and people have outright refused, made no effort, complained, etc.
All of it is just excessively uncomfortable. It feels as though the name I sign and that people write on my mail is simply there for convenience and not connected in any way to my personality or life or who I am.

I'm not named after a relative or anything. Just a pretty actress.
I also know multiple people who were abused by others with my middle name, which i feel suits me much better. So it's sort of awkward...
I'm in my early twenties, and I've been feeling this way for nearly a decade.
Um.
HELP?

Voting Results
47% Normal
Based on 47 votes (22 yes)
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Comments ( 30 )
  • kinklu
    11 years ago

    When I started grade school, I discovered that I had an odd name. They couldn't pronounce my foreign sounding last name and I thought every one in the world must be named Smith or Jones.

    And it wasn't just my last name. My first name was Louis and so they would say things like "Alright, Louie; drop that gun," and my nick name was Louie da Louse from a movie.

    It bothered me so much that I picked the perfect name, Don Smith, and I day dreamed that I had that name. Now that I'm older, I thank God my name is unique. A friend of mine named Smith told me he gets called erroneously by all kinds of businesses because his name is Smith.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      My name is pretty common.

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  • thecoldhardtruth
    10 years ago

    My names Emilie:)
    Lol I feel like my name is super common. Not that it doesn't sound good, and a lot if times it's very helpful to have a common familiar name.
    It's funny cause I have a super ordinary name and my sister has a very exotic name, thanks mom and dad haha.
    I dont think it suits me exactly but whatever it could be worse haha.

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  • kinklu
    11 years ago

    I remember that my buddy got a date with a colleen from the Irish part of town and I had to date her friend or no date. When I met my colleen and my friend told her my name, her response was "Oh, I don't like Louie. I think I'll just call you Mickey," which I associated with Mickey Mouse.

    That was a pretty short date. I told him wrap it up cuz I'm out of here, as soon as I can do it without being completely rude. I didn't think she was all that great anyway.

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  • NormalIsOverratedBeANinja
    11 years ago

    I've never really felt like my name suited me. When it comes up in some other context, I don't associate it with myself at all. But when I think of how others might be thinking about me, the first name that comes to mind IS mine, even though I know they only know me by my online nickname that I've had a few years to get used to.
    But somehow, when people say it out loud, it just gets to me for some reason! I don't know why. I've always hated introducing myself because I don't like saying my name out loud, and recently it's started getting on my nerves even when other people say it. It's weird, really.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      That's very similar to how I feel.

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  • KillerWombat
    11 years ago

    I like my name when it's not referring to me. It's pretty and classy-sounding, and it's fairly unique, but when someone calls me by it, all I can think of is my awkward little-kid self who was made fun of all the time in grade school. So I like to informally go by a slight variant of it; it lets me keep the coolness of the name without getting stupid distressing memories from hearing it.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      My full name is way too proper sounding for me, but the two nicknames seem to always be applied to either bitchy girls or ditzy girls. :/

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  • thanksforthefreecar
    11 years ago

    My name (Trevor) renimds me of a litle kid.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      I think Trevor sounds like a movie star name but I can't think of any movie stars with the name Trevor. Weird.

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      • kinklu
        11 years ago

        Trevor Howard was a movie actor way back in the 30's and 40's I think. Pretty well known, too.

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  • Moonbow
    11 years ago

    Nobody is happy with the name their parents gave them. The only people happy with their names are those who have their names legally changed to something of their own choosing.

    You say you're in your early 20s, so you're of age to legally change your name. Just go to a legal clinic or attorney, or look up the forms online, file them with the court and change your name.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      I know a lot of people who think the name their parents gave them is the perfect name for them and can't imagine themselves with a different one, so I think you might be projecting a little bit.

      I've already considered all that.
      People don't want to call me by a different name and people tell me that's extremely disrespectful to my parents and give me endless shit for it.

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  • Short4Words
    11 years ago

    What's your name?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Katie. Katherine.
      Kat.
      Whatever.
      Disgusting.

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      • ~xDameInDistressx~
        11 years ago

        I'm called Nadia. Hai.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          11 years ago

          Ohai Nadia.
          I like your name.

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          • ~xDameInDistressx~
            11 years ago

            Fankoo. I like yours too :D I've never actually met someone called Katie, even though I know the name =)

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      • kinklu
        11 years ago

        Katie sounds like: The British are coming. Katie, get your gun!
        Katherine: By your leave, Madam. The limousine is ready.
        Kat: (Kitty) Kat, (Cool) Kat, (Tom) Kat, (Pussy) Kat.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          11 years ago

          Actually, funny story. I had a dude call me Kitty for almost like, two or three years I think before he told me he wasn't saying Katie.
          Kat is by far my favorite. :>

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          • kinklu
            11 years ago

            I like Kat because I know a "Kat" and she's cool.

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      • Short4Words
        11 years ago

        Well for me. My names Alec but the majority of people I meet call me Alex, and then I have to correct them. Sometimes i don't even bother, sometimes I do and will feel like a jerk. I am sometimes tempted to want to change it, but people for the most part will remember me as Alec. So I can somewhat understand where you are coming from.

        Now coming back to this, I think I might have an idea. Were you teased, talked bad about, or have generally, a load of regrets for awhile? Enough that you wish people forget it all? Because I think that maybe you have a lot of regrets for what you've done, and so now, you want to disassociate with your identity, and create a new one, maybe because you have changed, or are changing, or want to. That somehow your name is a scar in your life. Before I go further tell me if any of this rings true?

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        • ~xDameInDistressx~
          11 years ago

          Hello Alec :) I like your name!

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          11 years ago

          Definitely.
          It's worth noting, though, that I have NEVER liked my name, even before that. I've always wanted to change it, but after elementary and middle school it just became intolerable to hear.

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          • Short4Words
            11 years ago

            I think you have to come to terms with it. I mean it. Seek therapy. Because you're just running away, and thats never the answer.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              11 years ago

              I see what you mean.
              Although on the flipside, I also genuinely feel, at least partially that in order to truly move forward with my life I need to be able to leave that part of my life just. Behind. I feel no attachment to it, really. I feel like I'm wearing pants six sizes too small.

              Also,
              I already go to therapy and none of my therapists have ever done much else but tell me that "Well, you could change it if you wanted to."
              Or suggest names for me.

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