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My mum is really happy and will do anything for me
then when I talk to her next she's yelling,cursing and throwing stuff at me.these moods can change in a matter of minutes. But then when she comes out of the "agressive" mood it's like nothing ever happened
Im really confused. Can someone please help me!?
This used to happen to me.
It turns out my mom was bi-polar among other things, and was committed to a mental institution when I was 12.
All the yelling did really hurt.
Just know that it's not your fault. And try to not piss her off... unless that's what you're going for.
I HAVE THE EXACT EXPERIENCE!!!!! It sucks because at much as we try to pretend it doesn't affect us it seeps in to every part of our lives. Myself, 2 siblings, and father all have codependency issues, i have resolved many of these through therapy and also just growing up and out (i'm 31 now so i haven't lived at home for 13 years, but it sounds like you're a teenager right there in it, hard). Just take as much solace as you can that it's not your problem. As others have said, your mom is ill, something is chemically wrong in her brain. Hopefully she will seek professional help because it definitely exists. My mom absolutely refuses to and my dad just kind of deals with it. There is only so much you can say as a son (They wonder why i only visit twice a year despite only living 3 hours away, I've tried to explain it, but, uuhhhh). Bring it up with her if you want to but keep in mind that you are not ultimately responsible for her though you may feel that way.
Also, have you read the book or seen the movie 'Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood?' It was very healing for me in my experience, and you should definitely watch it or read the book.
2 more things. One, if you are being physically hurt by things being thrown you need to tell someone immediately.
Also, i could totally relate when you said 'its like nothing ever happened' after her 'aggressiveness' was over. That is one of the hardest things to deal with. I would say 'Mom, stop yelling' and she would say 'I'm not yelling.' What sucked is that she was yelling, but i believed her that she did not think she was yelling. It still happens and it is very hard to be around her.
Now that i am older and have worked through many of my things, i am now able to confront her directly and say 'Let's talk about this, i want to know why you are upset.' That usually gets a stronger reaction, which usually includes insults, particularly about me being fat (which i'm really not, but she's been saying this since i was ten), but i'm able to handle it slightly better now.
Anyway, i'm getting wrapped up in my own stuff here and writing way too much. What you are going through really sucks. I definitely recommend finding a trustworthy confidant you can confide in or even better a counselor. You could make an appointment with your guidance counselor at school too. Don't keep this in. It's hard because we care so much about our moms and we hurt for them because they hurt.
I'll say this, too, actually. I always said growing up 'i'm never going to treat my kids like this.' Sure enough, when i got married i was doing similar things to my wife my mom did to me. I can't even believe it happened it seems unreal. Turns out i had some untreated illnesses and i was irrationally yelling and exploding out of irrational fear and anxiety. I still have high anxiety but i have learned methods of expressing it better than just yelling like i used to.
Good luck, my friend. Hang in there.
My mom was like this when I was growing up as well. I haven't seen her for three years, but apparently it's gotten a lot worse and my step father threatened to leave her if she didn't go to therapy. She's there now and taking medication, turns out she has severe depression and anxiety... took her a very long time to figure it out though, even though she encouraged both of her daughters to go to therapy when she suspected we were depressed.
more than likely, whatever is upsetting your mother, you are to young to notice it. also, kids always seem to think they are the only ones with problems, because parents usually don't share adult problems with them. i suggest that you try to observe your mother's mood before you address her. if she seems ok, then go to her with your issues or wants, but don't expect her (she's only human too) to always be cheery and welcoming. after all, are you?