My grandmother is the same as your mother. My mother is 37, and her two brothers are both in their 40's, living at home with my grandmother. My gran loves to baby them, loves to clean up after them and cook all day for them, and she resents my mother for "leaving" her.
They're constantly at eachothers throats because they never see eye to eye, because my grandmother feels that since she gave my mother life, she has the right to dictate how she lives it. It saddens me because I see her exhibiting the same behaviour towards me now that I'm starting my own life.
I moved out my moms house when I was 18, a year ago, to live with my boyfriend. The area I stay in now is far from where my mother and gran live, and so naturally I don't visit every day like I used to, and this has upset her. She's happy for me deep down, but I can see her frustration with me when she makes remarks about how I shouldn't forget my family and how I shouldn't be like my mother and abandone her.
This is very off putting behaviour, and makes me want to talk to her and see her less, the more she does it. Explain to your mother that she raised you to be a strong adult one day, not a baby who lives at home till you're 30. Tell her that if she wasn't a good mother, you would have had no desire to begin your own life, so she should take this as a compliment. She raised you right and even though its emotional when your kids leave home, she needs to accept it and be happy for you or lose you.
IIN that my mom tries to make me feel guilty for moving out?
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My grandmother is the same as your mother. My mother is 37, and her two brothers are both in their 40's, living at home with my grandmother. My gran loves to baby them, loves to clean up after them and cook all day for them, and she resents my mother for "leaving" her.
They're constantly at eachothers throats because they never see eye to eye, because my grandmother feels that since she gave my mother life, she has the right to dictate how she lives it. It saddens me because I see her exhibiting the same behaviour towards me now that I'm starting my own life.
I moved out my moms house when I was 18, a year ago, to live with my boyfriend. The area I stay in now is far from where my mother and gran live, and so naturally I don't visit every day like I used to, and this has upset her. She's happy for me deep down, but I can see her frustration with me when she makes remarks about how I shouldn't forget my family and how I shouldn't be like my mother and abandone her.
This is very off putting behaviour, and makes me want to talk to her and see her less, the more she does it. Explain to your mother that she raised you to be a strong adult one day, not a baby who lives at home till you're 30. Tell her that if she wasn't a good mother, you would have had no desire to begin your own life, so she should take this as a compliment. She raised you right and even though its emotional when your kids leave home, she needs to accept it and be happy for you or lose you.