Well in the end your mother has a right to charge you. But in this situation I think your mother and you will need to work out the expenses and budget so you and your mother can meet the cost of living.
Um, thumbs up (not sure who thumbs you down by the way, but zero was not fitting for your comment)
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That's right, to live where you both live, you 'both' need to sit down and work out the expenses.
By the way, you were living there for free? And now you have to pay!
Dear me, you still haven't grown up hey.
When you oneday have a family and the bills and rent/mortgage add up higher than you can afford, don't you dare look at your adult children to help you out.
Your Mother is asking for your support. Either give it, or getout. She'll be fine in the gutter. Thanks :)
Did you even read the entire thing? OP said she kept offering to pay rent, but her mother said no- but now that the roommates are moving out of the house, she's forced to pay as much as what three people were paying when previously, her mom said "No, it's ok, you don't have to pay rent".
Dude, you have to be trolling here, cause there's no way that it's right or normal for a mother, who has no idea on how to be an adult, is paying her twenty year old daughter $600 a month when she works her butt off at work and the mother isn't responsible enough to pay her own bills- especially when said OP is the only person in her family to pay her bills on her own, buys her own food, and has to use up a lot of gas- now correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that most Americans would consider gas prices to be very high in the US.
Does the mom have a right to charge her? Yes, she does. But for that amount? No, it's not normal.
Yes I did read it.
Previously the Mom was receiving enough money to continue the way she lived.
Now that one or more financial providers have moved out, she has been immediately put in a bad position financially.
Asking her own daughter for support, whilst her daughter (the OP) and possibly herself (the Mother) work out what to do. Is REASONABLE.
Does the Mom have a right to charge her, yes she does, but for that amount? Presently it is required to continue living there.
I thought it was obvious. Obviously not to a 20yo!
update: i still haven't paid her (just to see what she would do). i was recently sick and ended up going to the hospital (GREAT timing...) and got bombarded with bills that, of course, i am paying. i told my mom that i would only be able to give her 250 with this paycheck, and she said not to pay her at all. like, WTF. she needs to make up her mind. i saw the bills (electricity, water, etc) and they are NOT cheap. she had recently met up with my sister, so i'm thinking maybe my sister paid her off. GOD this woman is driving me insane. i'm moving out at the end of this month, and my mom keeps trying to bribe me to stay. she isn't getting all up in my business like she normally does, and doesn't care what time i come home anymore. fuck that. i'm still leaving. if she can't support herself, then obviously she shouldn't have children. it's not my problem if she loses custody of her son, and it isn't my fault that she's irresponsible.
It's good that you're moving out- you don't need to be paying all that money to someone who can't even act like a real adult and can't even support herself.
It didn't seem like the two of you had that good of a relationship even before the whole money situation thing came about.
And about what Dad said in his reply to your post- just because she's your mom, doesn't mean that you have to help her out with every single little thing. If it's a situation like this where she's just throwing away money for things she can't afford, then she doesn't deserve any financial help from her children. It's not like she's working her butt at two different jobs and struggling to keep herself from being evicted. If it was the other way around, with a daughter wasting money on things she can't afford and in financial trouble, the mom shouldn't be required to help out the daughter financially. That's just my opinion. Sometimes Dad gets things, but for whatever reason, he just doesn't seem to get that your mother probably doesn't deserve any financial help because of her lifestyle.
let me explain this one a little, dad.
she HAS a job, okay? she has NO mortgage because the house was GIVEN to her by her parents. EVERYTHING was handed to her on a silver platter, and when it came to me, I had/have to work for EVERY SINGLE THING. I end up working for more than just myself, and honestly, i think it's a little screwed up. sure, I don't mind HELPING OUT, god forbid, living in hawaii is tough enough. but when she expects ME to pay enough for 3 people, and provide for HER SON, while SHE goes out and buys clothes and shoes and things she KNOWS she can't afford, well, it's very irresponsible. all she wants to do is buy things, and have her own child pay for the things that NEED to be paid for.
i AM getting out. it's not because i don't want to pay, it's because i don't want to keep supporting her this way. SHE needs to grow up, i'm already well enough on my way.
THANKS.
ok you don't want to help her, then leave.
Don't abuse her or talk down to her or make life harder for her than it already is.
She's your Mom, I'm sure there will be some support agency out there that will help her with food/bills.
Meanwhile you go out and buy a jet ski or whatever it is that is much too good than helping out your own Mom.
I've read your (possible mental) concerns about your Mom. She obviously needs support from someone so she can get back on her feet again. Who knows, that house may have also been GIVEN to you when she dies (or divided up between the family) Maybe your proportion should be lower?
If life is THAT hard for someone who has a house (or dwelling or whatever it is) ALL paid off, then maybe she should sell and leave to a 1 bedroom apartment. Quite obviously her life is coming to an end, and yours is just starting, good luck with your own kids support one day. Because it (financial hardship) can happen to the best of us.
Oh, and make sure to take some of those past loving family photos with you, otherwise your Mom might just cry every time she sees them. Good one, leave on a bad note, that'll work out for you!
haha you really don't get it, but that's expected online. i can't spend my life taking care of those that won't even help themselves, i still need to live my life.
i understand that she needs help from someone to get her back on her feet, but you can't expect her to GET HELP when she isn't even trying to. I can't make her do that. I'd love to, honestly, but she just doesn't want to put any effort into it.
she doesn't want to sell the house because it was given to her, so she doesn't have to spend any money on "rent" or other living situations. sure, she'd have a shit ton of money, but i think she's saving that for when her parents actually die and it becomes HER house. technically, the house isn't hers to sell anyways.
we don't have family photos. growing up, we weren't even a family, just people living together. it's not like she'll really give a shit when i'm gone. the only thing going through her head will be "now who will pay my bills for me? who will take care of my son?"
she isn't even my mom. she's my older roommate. trust me, she really doesn't care much about a "family" to begin with.
I trust what you are saying is true.
Because although most say trust should be earned, I've always had the opinion trust to begin with and 'then' if any issues happen lower that trust accordingly from there.
I'm sorry you haven't felt like "family" with her. I actually feel she may think of you as 'close' family anyway, but just in her own awkward way. She may not know exactly how to express herself 'properly', but the love is there, somewhere.
ok then. Move out for a while, it may be best for both of you (actually everyone). See how it goes (in other words don't sign 12 month contracts/leases with anyone just yet. I think after a couple of weeks you'll both know what's best, and then take it from there. By the way, it may be best NOT to stop contact with her, because sometimes when we forget to call or come around the days turn into weeks, the weeks turn into months, and eventually years pass by! Just make it that you'll contact every day or two, then keep to it.
No, you don't need my ok (or anyone's, but yourself) but it sure does help when things are a bit gray. Good luck.
Is it normal that my mom makes me pay rent like this?
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Well in the end your mother has a right to charge you. But in this situation I think your mother and you will need to work out the expenses and budget so you and your mother can meet the cost of living.
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Dad
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nAt2017
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Um, thumbs up (not sure who thumbs you down by the way, but zero was not fitting for your comment)
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That's right, to live where you both live, you 'both' need to sit down and work out the expenses.
By the way, you were living there for free? And now you have to pay!
Dear me, you still haven't grown up hey.
When you oneday have a family and the bills and rent/mortgage add up higher than you can afford, don't you dare look at your adult children to help you out.
Your Mother is asking for your support. Either give it, or getout. She'll be fine in the gutter. Thanks :)
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spazatikal
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Did you even read the entire thing? OP said she kept offering to pay rent, but her mother said no- but now that the roommates are moving out of the house, she's forced to pay as much as what three people were paying when previously, her mom said "No, it's ok, you don't have to pay rent".
Dude, you have to be trolling here, cause there's no way that it's right or normal for a mother, who has no idea on how to be an adult, is paying her twenty year old daughter $600 a month when she works her butt off at work and the mother isn't responsible enough to pay her own bills- especially when said OP is the only person in her family to pay her bills on her own, buys her own food, and has to use up a lot of gas- now correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that most Americans would consider gas prices to be very high in the US.
Does the mom have a right to charge her? Yes, she does. But for that amount? No, it's not normal.
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spazatikal
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Yes I did read it.
Previously the Mom was receiving enough money to continue the way she lived.
Now that one or more financial providers have moved out, she has been immediately put in a bad position financially.
Asking her own daughter for support, whilst her daughter (the OP) and possibly herself (the Mother) work out what to do. Is REASONABLE.
Does the Mom have a right to charge her, yes she does, but for that amount? Presently it is required to continue living there.
I thought it was obvious. Obviously not to a 20yo!
this reply does make me feel a little better.
update: i still haven't paid her (just to see what she would do). i was recently sick and ended up going to the hospital (GREAT timing...) and got bombarded with bills that, of course, i am paying. i told my mom that i would only be able to give her 250 with this paycheck, and she said not to pay her at all. like, WTF. she needs to make up her mind. i saw the bills (electricity, water, etc) and they are NOT cheap. she had recently met up with my sister, so i'm thinking maybe my sister paid her off. GOD this woman is driving me insane. i'm moving out at the end of this month, and my mom keeps trying to bribe me to stay. she isn't getting all up in my business like she normally does, and doesn't care what time i come home anymore. fuck that. i'm still leaving. if she can't support herself, then obviously she shouldn't have children. it's not my problem if she loses custody of her son, and it isn't my fault that she's irresponsible.
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It's good that you're moving out- you don't need to be paying all that money to someone who can't even act like a real adult and can't even support herself.
It didn't seem like the two of you had that good of a relationship even before the whole money situation thing came about.
And about what Dad said in his reply to your post- just because she's your mom, doesn't mean that you have to help her out with every single little thing. If it's a situation like this where she's just throwing away money for things she can't afford, then she doesn't deserve any financial help from her children. It's not like she's working her butt at two different jobs and struggling to keep herself from being evicted. If it was the other way around, with a daughter wasting money on things she can't afford and in financial trouble, the mom shouldn't be required to help out the daughter financially. That's just my opinion. Sometimes Dad gets things, but for whatever reason, he just doesn't seem to get that your mother probably doesn't deserve any financial help because of her lifestyle.
let me explain this one a little, dad.
she HAS a job, okay? she has NO mortgage because the house was GIVEN to her by her parents. EVERYTHING was handed to her on a silver platter, and when it came to me, I had/have to work for EVERY SINGLE THING. I end up working for more than just myself, and honestly, i think it's a little screwed up. sure, I don't mind HELPING OUT, god forbid, living in hawaii is tough enough. but when she expects ME to pay enough for 3 people, and provide for HER SON, while SHE goes out and buys clothes and shoes and things she KNOWS she can't afford, well, it's very irresponsible. all she wants to do is buy things, and have her own child pay for the things that NEED to be paid for.
i AM getting out. it's not because i don't want to pay, it's because i don't want to keep supporting her this way. SHE needs to grow up, i'm already well enough on my way.
THANKS.
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ok you don't want to help her, then leave.
Don't abuse her or talk down to her or make life harder for her than it already is.
She's your Mom, I'm sure there will be some support agency out there that will help her with food/bills.
Meanwhile you go out and buy a jet ski or whatever it is that is much too good than helping out your own Mom.
I've read your (possible mental) concerns about your Mom. She obviously needs support from someone so she can get back on her feet again. Who knows, that house may have also been GIVEN to you when she dies (or divided up between the family) Maybe your proportion should be lower?
If life is THAT hard for someone who has a house (or dwelling or whatever it is) ALL paid off, then maybe she should sell and leave to a 1 bedroom apartment. Quite obviously her life is coming to an end, and yours is just starting, good luck with your own kids support one day. Because it (financial hardship) can happen to the best of us.
Oh, and make sure to take some of those past loving family photos with you, otherwise your Mom might just cry every time she sees them. Good one, leave on a bad note, that'll work out for you!
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haha you really don't get it, but that's expected online. i can't spend my life taking care of those that won't even help themselves, i still need to live my life.
i understand that she needs help from someone to get her back on her feet, but you can't expect her to GET HELP when she isn't even trying to. I can't make her do that. I'd love to, honestly, but she just doesn't want to put any effort into it.
she doesn't want to sell the house because it was given to her, so she doesn't have to spend any money on "rent" or other living situations. sure, she'd have a shit ton of money, but i think she's saving that for when her parents actually die and it becomes HER house. technically, the house isn't hers to sell anyways.
we don't have family photos. growing up, we weren't even a family, just people living together. it's not like she'll really give a shit when i'm gone. the only thing going through her head will be "now who will pay my bills for me? who will take care of my son?"
she isn't even my mom. she's my older roommate. trust me, she really doesn't care much about a "family" to begin with.
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I trust what you are saying is true.
Because although most say trust should be earned, I've always had the opinion trust to begin with and 'then' if any issues happen lower that trust accordingly from there.
I'm sorry you haven't felt like "family" with her. I actually feel she may think of you as 'close' family anyway, but just in her own awkward way. She may not know exactly how to express herself 'properly', but the love is there, somewhere.
ok then. Move out for a while, it may be best for both of you (actually everyone). See how it goes (in other words don't sign 12 month contracts/leases with anyone just yet. I think after a couple of weeks you'll both know what's best, and then take it from there. By the way, it may be best NOT to stop contact with her, because sometimes when we forget to call or come around the days turn into weeks, the weeks turn into months, and eventually years pass by! Just make it that you'll contact every day or two, then keep to it.
No, you don't need my ok (or anyone's, but yourself) but it sure does help when things are a bit gray. Good luck.
Well said.