I think quite a few people here haven't fully read your story and missed a few key details. For example:
"She worries so much about this but not about my brother driving drunk all the time or that the creeps my dad hangs out with have tried to molest us kids before and have stolen from the family"
This immediately tells me that she is selfish and her phobia of the fires is not for your safety, but her own. Now, to be careful about not setting off a fire is perfectly fine and normal but to be obsessive to the point where she constantly checks plugs and can't even trust you to use the toaster isn't.
She's a horrible mother, in my opinion, and I would advise you to get away from her as soon as possible and/or call the authorities or phone a helpline for full advice on what to do about the molesters.
Is it normal that my mom is THIS scared of fires starting?
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I think quite a few people here haven't fully read your story and missed a few key details. For example:
"She worries so much about this but not about my brother driving drunk all the time or that the creeps my dad hangs out with have tried to molest us kids before and have stolen from the family"
This immediately tells me that she is selfish and her phobia of the fires is not for your safety, but her own. Now, to be careful about not setting off a fire is perfectly fine and normal but to be obsessive to the point where she constantly checks plugs and can't even trust you to use the toaster isn't.
She's a horrible mother, in my opinion, and I would advise you to get away from her as soon as possible and/or call the authorities or phone a helpline for full advice on what to do about the molesters.